


We Can Reach There, Utopia (20COSSK)

by CosmicallyLyss



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Kisses, M/M, No Smut, Visual couple, guys try shipping it, i'll specify in the beginning of the chapter, it only gets as bad as making out, okay so it's either gonna be canon compliant or an au, pg-13 for the kiddos, seongsang, soft, this is the first seongsang fanfic wow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 05:50:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17156402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmicallyLyss/pseuds/CosmicallyLyss
Summary: Hello, everyone!! So I went through the full Ateez tag today, and I saw that there was no fic written for Seonghwa and Yeosang - and they're my favorite ship in the group - so I've decided to make history (lmao i'm not that important huncioadfghdfh) and be the first Seongsang fic on here! I hope y'all will check this out! Even if you don't ship it I'm trying grefhjfdgdisdiulAnyway, this fic is gonna have 20 chapters of small little oneshots based on a tumblr post I saw (that'll be included in the first chapter) so I really hope you enjoy!! Seongsang is such a beautiful ship and I really want to be able to share my love for them with Atiny's!I'm also really bad at summaries,,





	1. prompt one

**Author's Note:**

> *cracks knuckles* If you've actually clicked on this, thank you so much!! I hope you enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seonghwa had been drinking his daily cup of coffee when he first laid eyes on Yeosang, and the shock of “your crush somehow got even hotter over the weekend” caused him to choke on his drink, almost spilling it all over his new shirt.

[(the tumblr post that inspired this fic)](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/492933121707514107/) This first chapter is going to be a highschool au! I'm messing with the ages just a bit: Seonghwa, Yeosang and Hongjoong are in third grade (for those in America, that's our senior year), Yunho and Mingi are in second grade (junior year), and San, Wooyoung, and Jongho are in first grade (sophomore year).

* * *

**1: Breaking the kiss to say something, staying so close that you’re murmuring into each other’s mouths.  
**

 

Yeosang looked absolutely breathtaking. He had come in after the weekend with his hair dyed. Now, Yeosang wasn’t a stranger to hair dye, not at all. There had been one year where he came in with his hair bleached blonde - to Seonghwa, it looked more golden than anything, like the sun came down to crown Yeosang with a halo of light. But today? Yeosang had walked into school like he owned the place - which, if you asked any of his friends, he did - with freshly dyed pink hair.

When Seonghwa first saw Yeosang with his new hair, he would have been lying if he said it didn’t affect him. Seonghwa and the rest of his best friends - Hongjoong in his and Yeosang’s grade, Yunho and Mingi from a year below, and the kids two years younger that Seonghwa liked to joke about adopting, Jongho, San, and Wooyoung - had been hanging out in the school’s courtyard, waiting for the five-minute-warning bell to ring. Yeosang usually showed up near the time of the bell, and today was no different. Seonghwa had been drinking his daily cup of coffee when he first laid eyes on Yeosang, and the shock of “your crush somehow got even hotter over the weekend” caused him to choke on his drink, almost spilling it all over his new shirt. Hongjoong laughed right beside him, muttering a quick “Seonghwa-hyung’s whipped.” under his breath.

Seonghwa then smacked him in the arm - teasingly, of course - and got up from the courtyard benches to wave Yeosang over.

“Hyung,” Jongho drawled, pulling Seonghwa back by his sleeve. “You gotta either tell Yeosang-hyung you like him, or I’m doing it for you.” Jongho’s remark was followed by a chorus of “Me too!”s from San and Wooyoung. Just as Seonghwa was about to mumble something back to them about “aggravating dongsaengs”, Yeosang stopped in front of them, smiling proudly.

“So…?” He asked, bouncing on his heels. “What do you guys think of the new color?”

_Perfect. Gorgeous. Like a mix between cotton candy and cherries and sunsets that blended into the right shade of beautiful._ Seonghwa thought, his slightly raised arm falling down and out of Jongho’s grasp. While Seonghwa was trying to get his mouth to form words, the other were complimenting Yeosang left and right. “Hot.” Mingi said with a light-hearted smile, backed up by Yunho who added, “You pull it off! Probably better than any of us could.”

“I like it.” Seonghwa stated matter-of-factly, once he finally kickstarted his brain into gear. “It looks good on you. Matches your eyes. And I like the sweater you’re wearing - how it goes with the color.” Seonghwa grinned. Once he got over the initial shock, he was back to the same confident Seonghwa that the whole school knew.

Yeosang smiled back at him, his eyes lighting up. God, everything about Yeosang was just handsome. His eyes, his lips, his stature. Seonghwa especially loved the birthmark that framed Yeosang’s left eye. He could never understand why Yeosang tried to cover it up sometimes. It was unique and ethereal, just like the rest of him. Seonghwa loved how Yeosang looked, but most of all, he was in love with the boy’s personality. There was something about Yeosang that just made Seonghwa feel happy. He was the right balance between sarcastic and sincere, and his sense of humor could send Seonghwa into a spiral of laughter that could last up to half an hour. His compliments were rare, but always genuine, and he would always be there to cheer anyone up, no matter how long it took.

“Thank you, Seongie-hyung.” Yeosang’s smile got wider when he used his favorite nickname for the older boy. He had liked Seonghwa as more than a friend for a few months now, but still considered himself as too awkward to make a real move. However, his slight insecurity didn’t stop him from enjoying getting to tease his hyung.

“Ooh, look!” Mingi shouted, tapping everyone he could reach repeatedly to get their attention. “Seonghwa-hyung’s cheeks are the same color as Yeosang-hyung’s hair!” And the tall boy wasn’t wrong; Seonghwa’s cheeks did in fact flush pink when Yeosang used the nickname, like they always did when Yeosang not-so-subtly teased him.

“Listen, I-” Seonghwa’s excuse for his blushing was cut off by the warning bell ringing. San giggled, saying “I can’t tell if the bell saved hyung from a bad excuse or stopped him from a good one.”

Seonghwa joined in on the collective laughter, grabbing his backpack from the bench. “Alright, alright, you guys. If you don’t get to class on time, I’m grounding you.”

“Okay, mom!” Yunho exclaimed with mock enthusiasm. “You bet!”

It took about a minute for Seonghwa to finally herd everyone out of the courtyard, carrying Wooyoung’s backpack along with his own because the younger boy had forgotten to take it with him for two days in a row last week. He made sure all the boys were on their way to their correct classes and sat down in his first period physics class with Hongjoong right beside him.

“Hey,” Hongjoong whispered, nudging Seonghwa with the tip of his sneaker. “Yeosang-ah is having a get-together at his house tonight. Just us and the others. Are you gonna go?”

“Tonight?” Seonghwa did a quick run through of all the things he could have possibly had going on later. Sure, he had a test in his math class tomorrow, but it’s not like he ever studied. Seonghwa was blessed with a mind that allowed him to do well in school without putting forth much effort, something that he would never stop being grateful for. “I mean, I’m free, but wouldn’t Yeosang-ah say something himself?”

“You know he’s a decently popular guy. If he started telling people, word would get out and instead of an eight-person hangout, it would turn into a full blown party.” Hongjoong’s answer was immediate, almost as if he had been prepared for Seonghwa to fire back with a question.

Seonghwa sighed, pushing his dark hair off his forehead. “What time? I’d have to tell my parents.”

“At seven. It’s either ‘til eleven, or those that want to sleep over can.”

Staying the night at Yeosang’s house? Seonghwa would most definitely take up on that offer if he could, but his parents would never let him sleep anywhere that wasn’t his house on a school night. “Seven to eleven it is, then.”

Seonghwa was pretty excited for the rest of the day. Him and the boys hadn’t had a lot of time to all hang out together in a few weeks, so he was definitely looking forward to a few hours with his favorite people. After the bell signifying the end of the day rang, Seonghwa was bounding out of his seat and sprinting towards the doors. The bus he took back to his neighbourhood always left earlier on Mondays, and if he missed it, he’d have to walk for a little under an hour until he reached home.

Thankfully, Seonghwa reached the bus in time, collapsing into a seat and regaining a steady pace of breathing. He wanted to get some of his English homework done on the bus, but reading and writing while being on the road always made him feel sick. When Seonghwa got home, he said a quick hello to his mom - his dad wasn’t home yet, he always worked late - and walked to his room, dropping his heavy backpack on the floor. He bent down to pick up his notebook with his English homework and gently tossed it on his desk, sitting down in the chair in front of it. Hell, English was definitely not Seonghwa’s best subject. It wasn’t hard, per se, just a bit confusing. Why were there so many rules? And why were there exceptions to the rules half the time?

By the time Seonghwa finished all his homework, it was around 5:15. Seonghwa figured he’d make himself and his mom a quick meal, and get ready for Yeosang’s little get together. If he were ready by 6:40, he would be able to walk to Yeosang’s house. Seonghwa always preferred to walk places; being connected with the nature made him feel at peace with the world. As he started dinner up on the stove, he couldn’t help but let his thoughts stray to focus on Yeosang. Maybe Jongho had been right earlier. Maybe Seonghwa should just get over himself and be honest with Yeosang. If he got rejected, well, it would suck… But so be it. Seonghwa figured it would be better to get rejected and get over it than have the weight of a crush eat away at him for god knows how long.

But how would he tell Yeosang? What would he say? Where? And when? Seonghwa shook his head to nobody in particular. He tried to shake away his thoughts, both confident and insecure. He made small talk with his mother at dinner - How was school? It was alright. Where did you say you were going? Just Yeosang-ah’s house. And who’s going to be there? Just the boys and I. It’s nothing big. - but the larger part of his focus was spent trying to decide what he was going to wear for tonight. Excusing himself from the table and bringing his dishes to the sink, he retreated back into his room.

Seonghwa had gone through about five different outfits at this point. What would be considered too much? What if he showed up overdressed? Or underdressed? And… Why was he so nervous? Seonghwa laughed to himself, picking out one of his favorite sweaters from his closet - one with black and purple stripes. That sweater and some black ripped jeans. Casual, but still nice. Seonghwa hadn’t realize how long he spent on his extended journey for clothes, and turned on his phone to only to see that it was already a quarter to seven. He cursed under his breath, stumbling into the bathroom to look at his face. He still had a bit of foundation on from this morning, and it had faded enough to look like it was barely there. It would have to do.

“Bye, mom! I love you!” Seonghwa called out as he shoved his feet into his sneakers and grabbed his jacket from the coat rack near his front door. He forgot about the clock when he began the walk to Yeosang’s house. The autumn air was cool against his face, and the crunch the dead leaves on the pavement made whenever Seonghwa walked over them brought a smile to his face, inevitably slowing his pace. The same soft grin was still plastered on his features when he knocked on Yeosang’s door.

The pink-haired boy answered the door, the corners of his mouth turning up in a smile. “Hyung! I’m really glad you could make it.”

Hell, was it impossible for Yeosang to look anything anything less than stunning? He was only wearing a white button down with some light blue denim jeans, but Seonghwa saw an angel. “Of course, Sang-ah,” Seonghwa met Yeosang’s smile. “Sorry I’m a few minutes late, though, I lost track of time getting ready.”

“You care about your looks, hyung,” Yeosang said, his eyes glinting with mischief. “I should have known you’d care about that more than coming here on time.” Yeosang couldn’t even keep a straight face, bursting into laughter halfway through his sentence. “C’mon in, I don’t want you getting too cold.”

“Thanks, Yeosangie,” Seonghwa stepped in through the doorway, wiping his shoes off on the mat and taking them off, leaving them next to a pair of Yeosang’s boots. Seonghwa loved Yeosang’s house. It was always warm and inviting; there were usually candles lit that bathed the house in a soft amber glow. Yeosang closed the door quietly and tugged on the sleeves of Seonghwa’s jacket.

“Here, I’ll put it in the closet. You know which one, right?” Seonghwa nodded, shrugging off his jacket. He didn’t give it to Yeosang, though.

“I’m practically family with how much I’m here, I don’t need you hanging my coat for me, Yeosang-ah.” He gave the shorter boy a small grin. “Don’t waste your energy.”

Yeosang crossed his arms over his chest in mock annoyance. “And here I was trying to be a good dongsaeng.”

“You are, Sang-ah.” Seonghwa said after he hung his coat up. “Which is one of the reasons why I don’t want you doing things for me.” Yeosang hummed in response, the soft smile on his face never fading. “So, where are the others? Shouldn’t they be here by now?”

“Actually…” Yeosang muttered, his smile dropping from his face. His body language had changed, his arms shifting so that they were no longer folded across his chest, but tight around himself as if he were hugging himself. He looked… Nervous? “They… They’re not here.”

Seonghwa cocked his head to the side, confused. “What do you mean? Hongjoong told me your little party was tonight? Did the date get mixed up? Or-”

“There was never any party,” Yeosang said softly, cutting him off. “I told Hongjoong to tell you there was. I, uh, I wanted to get the chance to talk to you alone, but I didn’t know when I’d get the chance… I’m sorry if you had to cancel plans to get here, and you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, I guess.”

Seonghwa could sense how off the younger boy felt. His brow was creased and his bottom lip was snug between his teeth. Sure, Seonghwa was curious as to what Yeosang wanted to talk to him about - what if it was bad? What if Yeosang found out about Seonghwa’s crush on him and this was when he was going to reject him? - but he first needed to be sure Yeosang felt comfortable.

He pulled Yeosang towards him, wrapping him in a firm hug. “Yeosang-ah, don’t be worried about if you cancelled my plans. We both know my social life revolves on being everybody’s mother; you are my plans. Now, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?”

Yeosang didn’t move or talk for a bit, content to stay wrapped in Seonghwa’s embrace, head resting in the crook of his neck. “Well…” Yeosang said after a while, his voice a bit muffled, as he was practically speaking directly into Seonghwa’s neck. “Can we sit down first?”

“Of course, Sang-ah.”

Yeosang smiled when he pulled back, grabbing Seonghwa’s hand and leading him to the couch in his den. Yeosang fell back on the blue-gray piece of furniture, taking Seonghwa with him. It was silent for the length of just a few heartbeats before Yeosang turned towards Seonghwa, his voice a whisper. Whenever Yeosang whispered, his voice would get just a bit lower in pitch. Seonghwa always thought of Yeosang as having a voice like honey - it was the same with his skin - but when he whispered, it turned from honey to caramel. Still sweet, but richer. “I like you, Seonghwa-hyung.”

Was Seonghwa dreaming? Was this real? Was Kang Yeosang - _the_ Kang Yeosang - being serious when he said he liked Seonghwa? Seonghwa’s voice was trying to catch up with his mind, and he could only get out stuttered half-sentences.

“And when I say I like you,” Yeosang continued, his heart beating out of his chest. “I don’t mean it in the way that you’re my best friend - you are, but that’s not the point. I mean it in the way that I want you to be my boyfriend.”

All the wires in Seonghwa’s brain were short-circuiting. Yeosang. Likes him. Wants to be boyfriends.

“Hyung?” Yeosang shook Seonghwa’s shoulder lightly. “You still with me?” He leaned away a bit, although he never broke contact with Seonghwa’s shoulder. “It’s alright if you don’t like me like that, hyung. You’re still my best friend, I just wanted to get that off my chest, y’know?”

“Yeosangie?” Seonghwa could barely recognize his own voice. It was breathy and almost childlike, half made of worry and the other half excitement. The boy in question murmured a soft ‘yeah?’ and Seonghwa turned to face him, taking one of his hands in his own. “Can I kiss you?”

“That would be nice, yeah.” Yeosang said. He sounded giddy, barely able to contain himself as he leaned back towards Seonghwa, cupping the boy’s face in his hands. They both leaned forward, Seonghwa tilting his head just a bit, and their lips met. To Yeosang, the kiss felt like fireworks. Bright, explosive, something you can feel deep inside of you. To Seonghwa, the kiss felt like flowers blooming. Soft, inspiring, something just meant to happen. With Seonghwa’s free hand, he wrapped it around Yeosang’s slender waist, tugging the boy closer to him. Yeosang complied with Seonghwa’s silent request without breaking their contact, shuffling and shifting his weight so he was situated between Seonghwa’s legs.

They both had to pull away from each other to catch their breath, but they didn’t stay more than three centimeters away from the other. Right as both boys leaned back in, their eyes closing again from instinct, Yeosang mumbled “I’ve been meaning to tell you this sooner.” With how close they were, Yeosang was practically speaking directly against Seonghwa’s mouth, trying to press himself closer to the dark-haired boy.

“So was I,” Seonghwa said softly. He turned his head some more, deepening the kiss, pausing for a moment to continue his statement. “Jongho was gonna tell you if I didn’t.” Yeosang had started laughing, and Seonghwa took this opportunity - Yeosang’s open mouth - to test the waters in trying to deepen the kiss even further. He captured Yeosang’s lips with his own, his tongue darting out to swipe against Yeosang’s bottom lip in a silent plea for access. Yeosang more than happily obliged, his lips parting for Seonghwa. They both knew it might have been messy, but having the other boy licking into their mouth, hands roaming their back… It just felt right.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Seonghwa whispered into the kiss. “Especially with the new hair.” Their kissing was now half comprised of words, with the sentences being broken up and punctuated by kisses. “I choked on my coffee this morning,” Seonghwa was giggling at the memory of how affected he had been by Yeosang’s new hair color earlier in the day. “Guess you’ve just got that kind of effect on me, Yeosangie.”

Yeosang had started to laugh too. “So that’s why San told me to not be surprised if you choked when I told you I liked you…” He took one of Seonghwa’s hands from his back and placed it gently on the back of his head, sighing contently when he felt Seonghwa thread his fingers through the pink strands. “That feels nice, Seongie-hyung.” Yeosang said softly, practically talking directly into Seonghwa’s open mouth, leaning into the feeling of Seonghwa’s nails gently running over his scalp.

“Mm, good,” Seonghwa mumbled, pulling Yeosang even closer to him and letting out a soft gasp when their hips aligned in just the right way. “You’re a good kisser.” His voice was deeper than usual, and a bit rough around the edges.

Yeosang let his hands fall from Seonghwa’s face, now opting to wrap his arms around the boy’s neck, fingers dancing along his skin. “So are you, hyung.” He had just pecked Seonghwa’s lips again, about to say something when his phone rang, making the boy jolt in surprise.

Seonghwa dropped his arms from Yeosang’s head and waist and leaned back against the couch. “You should answer it, love,” he said, bringing a hand up to his slightly swollen lips, wiping them dry. “Might be important.”

Yeosang frowned, but yanked his phone out of his back pocket and put it up to his ear, swiping to answer the call. Once he heard the loud screaming of multiple boys from the other end, he moved his phone at least a foot away.

“Hyung, did you do it yet?” “Did your plan work?” “Yeosang-ah, I told him about the fake party like you asked!” “Did you finally tell him you had the hots for him?” “Hyung, hyung, hyung! If it works you gotta tell us all about it tomorrow!” “It’s definitely gonna work, Seonghwa-hyung’s been pining after you for ages.”

The six boys were so loud that Seonghwa was able to hear them from his seat on the couch. He let Yeosang quickly say “Guys. Lower your fricken voices.” The clamor only got louder, Mingi’s loud voice heard over the rest.

“Guys, shut up! He’s probably in the middle of doing it!”

Seonghwa reached for Yeosang’s phone, the pink haired boy more than alright with getting a chance to remove himself from his boisterous best friends. “Children,” Seonghwa started, chuckling when the other end of the phone became silent. “His plan worked.” The screaming started again - probably by Wooyoung and San and Seonghwa instantly hung up the phone. Yeosang’s cheeks were pink, a shade or two darker than his hair. “So, Sang-ah?” Seonghwa asked with a slight smirk.

“Yeah, hyung?”

“Explain this plan of yours? Only if you want, though.”

“Oh, well…” Yeosang started to laugh at himself. “It’s kind of stupid, but I had Hongjoong lie to you and say there was a get together at my house tonight because they had all had enough of my ‘pining over the same boy that is pining over you’ and wanted me to just confess to you already. Hongjoong was supposed to call me later, but I guess him - and the rest of our loser friends - decided to call me earlier.”

Seonghwa took Yeosang’s hands in his own and brought him close once more, their chests touching with Seonghwa’s chin resting on Yeosang’s shoulder. “That’s so convoluted. Didn’t I say earlier that I didn’t want you spending so much energy on me?”

“You’re worth the energy, Seongie-hyung.”

“Can I ask you one more thing?”

“Of course, shoot.”

“I’m a very perceptive person. Right before the kids called, you were about to say something. May I ask what it is?”

Yeosang tightened his arms around where they rested on Seonghwa’s waist. “Would you be my boyfriend if I asked?”

“That depends, Sang-ah,” Seonghwa said, his eyes sparkling playfully. “Would you ask me to be your boyfriend.”

“You’re insufferable, hyung. But I’m not going to focus on that. Park Seonghwa, will you be my boyfriend?”

Seonghwa didn’t answer right away; his thoughts were too busy conglomerating into a cacophony of excitement. He lifted his head off of Yeosang’s shoulder and pressed a chaste kiss to his jaw. “Kang Yeosang, I would love to.”

“I don’t think I can express how happy I am right now. Or thankful.”

“Thank your pink hair. That’s what set me on the ‘tell my beautiful cru- boyfriend that I like him’ path.”

Yeosang smiled. “I like the pink, too. Now, how long did Joong-hyung tell you the party lasted?” When Seonghwa told him Hongjoong had said until eleven, Yeosang shifted his weight around as he checked his phone. “It’s a little past 8:30, we’ve got like two and a half hours. Do you want to leave now? Like, I don’t know if you want to say or when you told your parents you’d be back, so…” He trailed off, looking to Seonghwa for an answer.

“Leave? I’ve got two and a half hours left to spend with my boyfriend, why would I leave?”

“I like you saying that.”

“Boyfriend?”

“Yeah.”

“I like you being that.”

“Me too.”

They were staring at each other, Yeosang looking down and Seonghwa looking up, a contrast from their usual height dynamic. “Do I have to ask to kiss you again?” Seonghwa said with a small laugh. He barely got the chance to say “Or” in the next part of his statement before Yeosang was snaking his hand under Seonghwa’s chin and tilting his head up. Their lips met, softly, and everything felt right in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's the end! I truly hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this. feedback is always appreciated ahaha
> 
> have a wonderful day/night, atiny nation!! <3


	2. prompt two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My hyungs and dongsaengs of this dorm!” Yeosang shouted between bits of laughter. “If we don’t get situated, I think Joong-hyung’s gonna have an aneurysm. And we need our leader.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone!! prompt two is officially a thing! this is canon compliant, featuring the whole ateez ensemble having game night, and some woosan moments for the shippers.
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you enjoy!!

**2: Moving around while kissing, stumbling over things, pushing each other back against the wall/onto the bed**

* * *

 

“Does everyone know who their partner is?” Hongjoong was trying to ask the question so they could start their tradition of Sunday Game Night, but the rest of his bandmates were conversing amongst themselves, trying to switch partners and trade off. “Guys?” Hongjoong looked to his best friend for help, but the oldest member of the group was busy acting closer in age to their maknae. Hongjoong couldn’t quite tell what Seonghwa was trying to do, only that Wooyoung, San, and Mingi were almost in tears from laughter. The leader sighed, a hand carding through his blonde hair. “Yeosang-ah?”

 

    Thankfully, the pink haired boy looked up towards Hongjoong, the straw from a soda cup still in mouth. “Yeah, hyung?” He said around the plastic straw.

 

    “Can you please - please - help me get the others’ attention?”

 

    Yeosang nodded, giggling at Hongjoong’s desperation. He put the cup of soda down on the table after taking one last swig of it. “My hyungs and dongsaengs of this dorm!” Yeosang shouted between bits of laughter. “If we don’t get situated, I think Joong-hyung’s gonna have an aneurysm. And we need our leader.”

 

    Hongjoong rolled his eyes in exasperation, but quickly smiled gratefully. “Yeosang-ah, wanna pick teams? You got them quiet, it’ll be fair.”

 

    Yeosang most definitely wanted to pick teams. He wanted to be on a team with his boyfriend, Seonghwa. The day had been tiring for all eight of them, meeting with their managers and talking about their upcoming comeback. Along with the hours and hours of meetings, he had stood in the recording studio so long that his feet were numb just practicing his vocals. And Yeosang truly did love game nights, but today he was just exhausted. He wanted to pick Seonghwa as his partner, and if he could, fall asleep in his arms.

 

But before he mustered up the energy to respond to Hongjoong, Wooyoung spoke up with a sly smirk. “Hongjoong-hyung, wouldn’t it be quicker to just go with the partners we originally had?”

 

    More of the other members gave each other knowing looks, and Yeosang felt like the whole world was just out to get him when Hongjoong responded, “I think you’re right, Wooyoungie, thank you.” Yeosang dropped his head in his hands, groaning in frustration. But any real annoyance he had felt completely vanished when he felt a body slide up next to his. “Hyung?” Asked the voice, prying Yeosang’s hands away from his face. “We’re gonna beat the hell out of the others, right?”

 

    Yeosang nodded, a smile making its way onto his face. “Yes, Sannie, we are going to drive them into the dirt.” San was always a great go-to whenever any of the members were feeling aggravated; the green-haired boy was filled to the brim with love, affection, and a disposition like sunshine. He and San were deep in conversation, trying to come up with numerous different strategies in order to win. Maybe some slight cheating - if they could feign innocence well enough, some psychological warfare, and even reverse psychology.

 

    Game night wasn’t just a night of the Ateez gang getting together to spend a few hours on a game. No, this was war. And all eight of the boys would play their game night to the death if they had to. On days where they’d play Monopoly, it would be four in the morning, a few out of the game from bankruptcy, a few just passed out, and some still playing trying to win the neverending game. Usually it would be Jongho, Seonghwa, and Yunho battling it out, but there were times where the others - most often Mingi and Wooyoung - made it into the mix. There had been one time where they had played Bop-It, and Jongho - apparently unaware of his own strength - had “bopped” the toy so hard against his own hip he was left with a bruise. UNO would end in playful screaming matches, usually containing phrases like “Really?! The plus four card?! I thought I was your favorite dongsaeng!” or “You fricken devil hyungs, stop skipping me every time!” Battleship was always chaotic, with teams of four needing to find a way to be functional and stick together. And if they ever played card games - Spit, Golf, or Spoons - they’d find stray cards weeks later shoved haphazardly under the couch cushions.

 

    One of the most stressful, focused games would be taking place tonight, and San and Yeosang were determined to win. Jenga. While Yeosang and San had been planning, Hongjoong and Mingi - a team - put up the wooden tower. They had knocked it over twice in the process, if that was any hint as to how the game was going to go. Finally, the tower was up, and all eight boys were seated around the small square table the Jenga tower sat on in their respective pairs: Yeosang and San, Hongjoong and Mingi, Yunho and Seonghwa, and Jongho and Wooyoung.

 

    They decided that in order to make what could be a short game last longer, the rules would state that whichever team knocked the tower over twice would be out, and that it would keep going until one team took the crown. Yunho had cracked the joke “Forget pirate kings, we’re gonna be Jenga kings!” to Seonghwa, the elder of the two laughing more at how bad the joke was than at the joke itself. Nonetheless, he agreed, giving Yunho a high-five.

 

    They always played by youngest-first-then-clockwise rules, leaving Jongho to hover over the tower, trying to inspect it from all sides, Wooyoung staring nervously at his partner. With the delicate fingers Jongho used to remove the first piece of the tower, it would be almost impossible to tell that this was the same boy that broke apples with his bare hands. He gently set the wooden block on the top of the tower, leaning back with a grin of unadulterated satisfaction, Wooyoung cheering “Yes!” beside him.

 

    Yeosang was making a conscious effort to keep his eyes open, so he figured that letting San make the first move for their team was a good option. Every once in a while, Yeosang’s head would fall sharply, and he’d spring back up, rubbing the exhaustion out of his eyes. He made eye contact with Seonghwa from across the table, smiling at the silent meeting. Yeosang was so caught up in staring at Seonghwa - his skin was flawless, his hair so soft… - he almost forgot the game was happening. San pointed to the top of the tower, centering Yeosang back in the present reality. “Good job, San-ah!” Yeosang tried to make his voice sound full of excitement and not sleep deprivation.

 

    Hongjoong and Mingi - either known as the “rapline duo” or the “chaos bringers”, as the rest of Ateez liked to call them - were up now, and were trying to decide who was going to go first between them through rock, paper, scissors. Mingi won the game, and carefully studied the tower, opting to go for a strategic play as he wedged one of the blocks out from the lower parts of the tower, placing it on top. The tower wobbled dangerously, but didn’t fall, leaving Yunho and Seonghwa as the last team to have to complete their first round.

 

    Yunho and Seonghwa, when put together, were either two out of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, or the two wisest in the group, depending on their situation. And Yeosang could tell that their approach to this game night was pure strategy by the fire in their dark brown eyes. Yunho’s long and slender fingers had always been an advantage for him when it came to games like this, allowing him to have precise control over his movements. He tested the water with a few different blocks, settling on one that moved easily and was at a lower level than the one Mingi had taken out. His turn went quickly, and he gave Mingi a smug grin, like he was saying “Try and beat that.” with only his eyes and smirk.

 

    With all the teams completing their first round, it was time to switch who made the move for the team. Wooyoung cracked his knuckles, getting ready and staring down the tower like it was going to make one of its blocks light up and say “pick me!”. Yeosang opened his eyes, because he totally hadn’t been drifting off since the game started, and gave San a side-eyed look, nodding just the slightest bit to signal “Our strategy begins now.”. Wooyoung had leaned forward, and right as he did, San coughed. It was enough to direct Wooyoung’s attention to San for just a moment. The older boy seized his opportunity to throw a small wink at the boy, holding back a laugh when Wooyoung’s cheeks turned pink, instantly turning his attention towards the tower. Wooyoung’s focus was gone, though, and his shaky hand hit the tower, causing the tower to crash, wooden blocks spreading along the table.

 

    “That-” Wooyoung exclaimed, “San-hyung cheated! Did none of you see that?”

 

    Yeosang was snickering, already prepared to back his teammate up. It was San’s idea, to get Wooyoung to lose focus and knock over the tower. “He didn’t force you to knock over the tower, Wooyoungie, that was all you.”

 

    “So unfair!” Wooyoung shouted. His arms were folded over his chest, but he could only stay aggravated for a few moments before he broke down into laughter, his high pitched giggle setting the other boys off. “Mark my words, hyung, I’m gonna get you back.” Wooyoung sighed, and then began to stand up. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom. One, because I had four cans of soda. Two, because I don’t wanna be the one to reset the tower.” With that, the lavender haired boy bounded away towards the bathroom.

 

The tower was all set up, and it was Yeosang’s turn to make his move. He felt sluggish, but convinced himself that the tower would stay upright. After all, it was completely reset. He raised his arm to the tower, and became all too aware of Seonghwa’s gaze on him. The last time Yeosang’s team was up, he had made eye contact with Seonghwa, but that time it was just a cute locking of eyes. Now, Seonghwa was looking at him with something else in his stare. Yeosang subconsciously licked his lips, trying to break away from the eye contact. He was about to remove one of the blocks when the entire room went dark.

 

The seven boys heard a scream - Wooyoung - from the bathroom, and Hongjoong called out to him, “I’m pretty sure it’s just a power outage, Young-ah!” Hongjoong had stood up, squinting in the darkness. Yeosang saw a few more people stand, but he couldn’t bring himself to decipher who they were. Soon enough, everyone was standing. Three figures stayed, but the other three dispersed, most likely going back to their rooms. Yeosang was going to stand, but the darkness was inviting to Yeosang’s tired mind, and he settled back against the bottom of the couch, already falling into a sleepy daze.

 

Seonghwa had been on his feet in an instant when the power went out. He turned to Hongjoong, already whipping out his phone and turning its flashlight on. “Should we go and check the breakers?”

 

“Great idea, hyung,” Hongjoong said, following up on Seonghwa’s actions and turning his phone’s flashlight on. “I’ll go and do that.”

 

“Hey, hey,” Seonghwa interjected. “I should be coming with you. I know you’re our leader and all, but I’m the oldest; I should be handling stuff like this.”

 

“Seonghwa-hyung.” Hongjoong looked at his best friend with a soft smile. “All that I’m doing is checking the breakers. It’s simple, you don’t have to worry about responsibility.”

 

“Exactly, it’s simple,” Seonghwa reasoned, trying to use Hongjoong’s own words against him. “Which is why you should let me do it.” Seonghwa felt a hand against his back, and he whipped his head around, startled. He sighed when he saw it was only Yunho.

 

“Or, hyung,” The tall boy said, trying to pour as much persuasion in his voice as possible. “You can let Hongjoong-hyung handle this himself and go collect your boyfriend off the carpet. He looks lonely.”

 

    Seonghwa twisted around, his phone flashlight falling on Yeosang, who was sitting on the floor with his back against the couch. Seonghwa felt himself smile and felt his resolve crumble away. Yeosang seemed to see the light through his sleep-induced haze, and started to straighten up, squinting his eyes. “Are you sure you got this handled?”

 

    “It is a breaker, hyung. I will be fine. I was fine when I had to do this at age twelve back in my parents’ house.”

 

    Seonghwa nodded and mumbled an “Okay, good.”, already making his way towards Yeosang and pointing his phone flashlight away from the boy. He was now sitting up on his own, no longer needing the couch to support him. Yeosang was staring up at Seonghwa with his eyes half closed, smiling softly. “You tired, Yeosangie?” Seonghwa asked, bending down to get closer to the sleepy boy.

 

    “Mm… Kinda. My little nap helped a bit…” Yeosang stretched his hands out, trying to grab Seonghwa’s. “Help me up?”

 

    Seonghwa complied instantly, taking Yeosang’s warm hands in his own and gently pulling him up. Yeosang rested his head against Seonghwa’s shoulder, lips pressed against his neck. Seonghwa hummed happily, giving Yeosang’s hands a soft squeeze before dropping them so he could wrap his arms around Yeosang’s waist. He tilted his head to the side when he felt Yeosang press a small kiss to his neck, allowing the younger boy to have more access to his skin. “You wanna go back to the rooms, Sang-ah?” Seonghwa asked, his arms snug around Yeosang’s body.

 

    “My room,” Yeosang mumbled, pulling away from Seonghwa’s neck to look him in the eyes. “S’closer.” He grabbed onto Seonghwa’s wrist starting to pull him towards the hallway with all the boys’ bedrooms. Their lips and hands were interlocked as they made their way to where the hallway of all the boys’ bedrooms was. It was silent, save for Yeosang and Seonghwa’s heavy breathing. Their close proximity coupled with the darkness and slight clutter in the hall caused them to occasionally trip and stumble. At one point, Seonghwa had tripped over a sneaker strewn in the middle of the hall, ending in him losing his balance. Yeosang was there in an instant, making sure the older didn’t fall. Now having the upper-hand - his hands locked on Seonghwa’s shoulders - when it came to their dynamic, Yeosang took great pleasure in backing Seonghwa against the hallway wall, right outside of his room.

 

    “Stupid shoe…” Seonghwa complained, looking across at Yeosang, who had successfully caged him in against the wall, hands on either sides of his head. “I need to clean again tomorrow… I thought I told the kids to move their stuff from out of the middle of the hall.”

 

    “Cleaning’s not important right now…” Yeosang stated. “Clean later, kiss me now.”

 

    Seonghwa smiled and slung his arms around Yeosang’s neck, twisting around so that it was Yeosang with his back to the wall. Seonghwa moved closer, pressing his thigh in between Yeosang’s legs. They were kissing until they were breathless, lips swollen and cherry red. “Room…” Seonghwa mumbled, past the point of coherency. “We should go in.” He reached for the doorknob, yanking the door open and stumbling inside, never breaking contact with Yeosang, but remembering to shut the door behind them.

 

    By now, their eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and with the moonlight filtering through the bedroom window, they were able to see each other. Their eyes were glazed over with a mix of love and want, and their skin shone with a slight coating of sweat. Seonghwa leaned back to catch his breath, closing his eyes. Yeosang snaked his arm around Seonghwa and guided them in the darkness until they were at the foot of Yeosang’s bed. Yeosang kept advancing, pushing Seonghwa along with the force of his mouth alone until the older boy was sitting on the bed and still leaning back. Seonghwa had propped himself up on his elbows, moving backwards so Yeosang would have room to get on the bed too.

 

    “Yeosangie,” Seonghwa breathed, staring up at the boy now hovering above him on all fours. The silvery moonlight was meeting Yeosang’s cherry blossom hair, showering him in just enough light to be visible, causing shadows to stretch across his lean form. It made him look nothing less than angelic to Seonghwa. “I love you.”

 

    Yeosang’s face split into a grin. He balanced his weight on three limbs now, using his free arm to lightly grip the back of Seonghwa’s neck, pulling him up until their foreheads touched. “I love you, too.” He whispered, leaning down and stealing a kiss. Seonghwa pushed himself up so that he was back in a sitting position, and slowly, Yeosang lowered himself so that he was sitting on Seonghwa’s lap, his legs wrapped around the older boy’s hips. Both boys gasped into the kiss at the newfound contact, their breath hitching in their throats. Yeosang could hardly remember feeling exhausted earlier. Now, everything he felt was awake and alive and energized. “I wanna try a little something,” Yeosang mumbled. “Stop me if you don’t like it.” After getting confirmation that it was alright in the form of Seonghwa saying “Of course, go ahead.”, he placed his hands against Seonghwa’s chest, pushing him down until his back was flush against the bed. He shifted himself around until he was sure the weight distribution would be comfortable for Seonghwa, and then looked at him with a hopeful expression. “Is this okay?”

 

    Oh, this was more than okay. Seonghwa was grateful for the lack of lighting, if the lights were on, Yeosang would be able to see the deep red blush spreading across Seonghwa’s cheeks, and he’d never let the boy live it down. Their relationship had never contained a strict “this is who controls things” rule, and both boys wouldn’t want it any other way. To them, one of the biggest parts of a healthy relationship was being able to switch things up. However, when it came to suggesting and trying new things, Yeosang was always more hesitant. So whenever Yeosang did something like this, Seonghwa thought it was more than okay. “Yeah, this is,” Seonghwa sighed. “This is great. You’re great, Sang-ah.”

 

    Yeosang’s soft laugh filled the room, his smile lighting it up. “So are you, Seongie-hyung.” He let out a content sigh when he felt Seonghwa’s hands rest on his hips, fingers tracing patterns into the waistband of his sweatpants and pressing the slightest bit under his shirt. Yeosang had just bent down to give Seonghwa a quick kiss when the door flung open and the lights turned on, flooding the room. He and Seonghwa hissed at the bright light’s sudden invasion of their eyes. Still squinting, they turned towards the door, their gaze falling on a certain purple-haired boy with his mouth agape.

 

    It was silent for a few moments. Wooyoung looked like he was stuck, frozen to where he stayed near the doorway. Yeosang had lifted himself back off of Seonghwa and helped pull the boy back to a seated position. “I-” Wooyoung started to say, his expression a mix of embarrassment and hilarity. “We thought you were gonna be back in Seonghwa-hyung’s room. So, uh- I can… I can go? Yeah, alright, I’m just gonna… head on out.”

 

    “Wooyoung-ah?” Seonghwa asked while brushing Yeosang’s ruffled hair out of his eyes.

 

    “Yes, hyung?”

 

    “Who are the ‘we’ in ‘we thought you were gonna be back…’?”

 

    Wooyoung couldn’t contain himself anymore. He erupted into a fit of laughter, trying to explain everything in a single breath. Yeosang could catch bits and pieces of words like “power… you two… faking… wrong…”

 

    “Wooyoungie, calm down. Breathe.” Yeosang said. “That is kind of important.”

 

    “Okay, okay. First off, I’m sorry for walking in on you guys. We seriously thought you were gonna be in Seonghwa’s room and wanted to leave you uninterrupted. And I was tired so I came back here so I could sleep but I wasn’t expecting to see you two here, but that’s where we are…” He paused for a moment. “Right… Anyway, the boys and I know you both have been missing each other recently, and that with all the preparing for the comeback, you’ve been exhausted. So we wanted to give you both a chance to spend some time alone together! The entire thing was planned out earlier today. San had planned the whole ‘make me knock over the tower’ thing out with me before he even told you, Yeosang-hyung.”

   

    Yeosang rolled his eyes, trying to fight back laughter. So _that_ was why San was so set on using that strategy.

 

    “And then when I left, I went to our breaker switches and turned them off. Hongjoong-hyung was going to go check things out and fix it, even though there was nothing he needed to fix, but then he told me Yunho-hyung had to interfere and get you-” he directed this towards Seonghwa “-to stop worrying about it and offering to take care of it. So yeah, we figured that you’d go back to Seonghwa-hyung’s room. So we were all hanging out in Mingi and Jongho’s room and we decided that we’d all go back to our rooms when we thought you were sleeping. ‘Cause you seemed tired. We thought you were just gonna cuddle each other until you fell asleep… Not… That.” Wooyoung laughed, a teasing spark igniting in his eyes. “My pure eyes have been soiled!” He shouted. “And it’s your fault!”

 

    “Wooyoungie, I’ve walked in on you and San-ah doing so many more questionable things.” Seonghwa countered his claim, a smile teasing his lips. “And most of the time, it’s you two trying to just be functional people.”

 

    Wooyoung stuck his tongue out at Seonghwa, but couldn’t deny the accusation.

 

    “Wooyoungie-hyung? Did you find them?” Jongho called through the hallway. “None of us have!”

 

    “They’re in my room, Jongho-yah!” Wooyoung gained a devilish smirk and dramatically turned out into the hallway. “Guess what they were doing! They-”

 

    Wooyoung didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence; Yeosang had thrown one of his pillows at the boy and it hit him in the head, effectively shutting him up. Seonghwa lay his head against Yeosang’s back, softly asking, “How does cuddling each other to sleep sound?”

 

    Yeosang smiled, settling back against his bed with Seonghwa’s arms encircling his waist. He rested his head against Seonghwa’s chest, closing his eyes. Now that he was laying down, Seonghwa’s body heat warming him up, his old feelings of exhaustion washed over him like a tsunami. The last thing he heard before drifting off was Wooyoung snickering “Gross.”, his tone warm and lighthearted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was it! I hope anyone reading liked this chapter - I personally had so much fun writing the jenga portion I almost forgot I had an actual fic to finish. Thank you to anyone that took the time to read this! Prompt Three should be up sometime in the next day or so! Feedback is always appreciated hehe


	3. prompt three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But Yeosang had sworn to himself he’d never act on his desires. It was too risky. Seonghwa was the sun to Yeosang’s Icarus."
> 
> Warnings for this chapter!!  
> \- very light angst (I mainly write heavy angst and gore, I swear this is light stuff)  
> \- a bit of drinking (nobody gets drunk. and I'm pretty sure that Jongho is of legal age, and if not, the year gets added on new year's day so it's close enough hehe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!! This chapter was supposed to be out much earlier, but I had a strong case of writer's block until I saw Ateez's new year's message video. So I turned it into a new year's fic!!
> 
> This is canon compliant! I hope you all enjoy reading this chapter - it got a bit sentimental towards the middle - and I hope you all had a happy new year!!!

**3: Kissing so desperately that their whole body curves into the other person's**

* * *

 

“Yeosangie, I don’t understand why you haven’t told him yet. Seriously, what’s the worst that could happen?”

 

“Hyung, I just… I don’t know? I’m scared I’ll get rejected. And then I’ll be too embarrassed to even show my face in this dorm. Or word will somehow get out to the public and I’ll get involved in a dating scandal and I’ll have to leave the group because the press will know I’m gay and it might affect our group and lower our chances of making it big and it’ll be all my fault that our careers were over before they got the chance to skyrocket and this is exactly the reason I haven’t told him that I’m infatuated with him.”

 

“Yeosang-ah. Listen to yourself. You sound crazy. And I swear, if you were any one of me or the others, you’d realize how hard he flirts with you. I’m being serious, it’s obvious to everybody except for you.” Yunho sighed, looking down at Yeosang with a sad sort of smile. “I know I can’t force you to confess, and I’d never want to force you into something you’re uncomfortable with, but I still think it’s a good idea to get something like this off of your chest. It’s the last day of 2018, I just think you should resolve and come to terms with all of this with the few hours in this year you have left.”

 

“I guess… Thanks for talking to me, Yunho-hyung.” Yeosang returned the small smile Yunho gave him, and let out a long breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding as the older boy walked out of his room. He fell back against his bed, bouncing slightly on the mattress. He turned on his side, gripping his pillow and hugging it tight against his chest. He tried to take Yunho’s words to heart, he really did, but his insecurities were quickly taking over the better part of his thoughts.

 

Yeosang had tried to keep his crush on Seonghwa a secret for as long as possible - he had no idea how any of his bandmates would take the news. And hell, the small voice that always nagged him in the back of his mind never let him forget that the boys might not even accept him for his sexuality, although he knew in the bottom of his heart they would. He had kept his secret for as long as possible, but the suspicions of the other members began to grow as their friendship grew stronger. It had Wooyoung who first questioned Yeosang about it. The older boy had been reluctant at first, not wanting to admit the truth in fear of exile, but all his fears vanished when Wooyoung told him something he had been hiding up until the past week and slowly telling all the members about - he was bisexual. The sincere smiles and understanding looks that Wooyoung had given Yeosang while listening to all he had to say - how he discovered he was gay, why he was so worried about coming out - had inspired the older boy to come out to the other members. This had been months ago, over the summer, but out of the seven other people in Ateez, only six knew. The only member currently in the dark was Seonghwa, the object of Yeosang’s affections.

 

Yeosang knew he should get over himself. Even if he couldn’t outright say that he wanted to kiss the oldest member of the group - and not just cheek kisses all the boys shared - he could at least tell him about his sexuality. Seonghwa deserved to know, all the others did already, but Yeosang couldn’t calm his nerves enough to do it. The older of the two had a habit of making Yeosang flustered; at times it would get to the point that Yeosang would avoid Seonghwa for a few hours. The other boys - all aware of Yeosang’s feelings for Seonghwa - had tried to convince Yeosang that Seonghwa had been blatantly flirting with him, but the pink-haired boy could never agree with them.

 

To Yeosang, Seonghwa acted the exact same to him as he did to the other boys. The forehead kisses, hand-holding, prolonged hugs, and lingering hands on shoulders were just a part of Seonghwa’s parental tendencies as oldest hyung of the group. When Yeosang had come down with a slight fever last month, he had dismissed Seonghwa’s ceaseless care as a part of the boy’s kind and generous personality. In Yeosang’s mind, Seonghwa was unattainable. He was Adonis in the twenty-first century. His clear skin, soft and smooth raven-colored hair, and expressions so refined they were practically regal… Yeosang could get lost in thought just from looking at the boy. His eyes like dark chocolate, rich and enticing. His lips like strawberries, pink and full. All in all, he was an aphrodisiac that Yeosang couldn’t help but want.

 

But Yeosang had sworn to himself he’d never act on his desires. It was too risky. Seonghwa was the sun to Yeosang’s Icarus. From what Yeosang had let himself believe, Seonghwa was a straight guy that happened to love skinship, and had an affinity for taking care of others. Yeosang groaned, and muttered words of frustration to the stoic air around him. All of a sudden, his bed was too uncomfortable, his sweatshirt making him too warm, the air in his room making his face too cold.

 

_ “I still think it’s a good idea to get something like this off of your chest. It’s the last day of 2018, I just think you should resolve and come to terms with all of this.”  _ Yunho had said. Half of Yeosang wanted to believe the older boy, just let all his anxieties go as he let the year go, but the other half was still hellbent on the outcome being rejection and the downfall of Ateez. Yeosang rolled over back onto his back so that he was staring up at the ceiling, the bright white light shining into his eyes and making him see purple and green circles behind his eyelids every time he blinked. He was getting a headache just from warring with his own thoughts. As he debated on what to do with these last hours in the year, he remained unaware of a similar situation and conflict happening just a few rooms away from his.

 

“I just don’t think he likes me like that, Joongie. Have you seen how he shys away from me? I’ve tried everything except for directly telling him. I mean, damn, I know I’ve been pretty obvious. So what’s going on is one of three things. I’m not good at flirting with people, he’s oblivious to what I’m trying to do, or he knows what I’m doing and just doesn’t like me back. At this point, I think my New Year’s resolution is going to be to get over my aggravating crush. It’s just, I don’t know, I-”

 

“Hyung. I’m sorry to interrupt like this, but I’d rather cut you off than listen to you talk like this. Have you ever considered a fourth option? He knows what you’re doing, he likes you back, but he doesn’t think you actually like him, so he’s scared to tell you himself?” Hongjoong wished he could just tell Seonghwa that Yeosang truly did have feelings for him, but he and the other members had made a promise to Yeosang that they’d take his secret to their graves until the somewhat shy boy confessed himself.

 

“It’s fine, don’t worry. Besides, I’ve already thought of that possibility. But at this point, I feel like it’s too late. Earlier this year I thought I’d use 2019 as the year to be the best boyfriend I could to Yeosang, but now I’m pretty sure that it’ll be spent getting over him.” Seonghwa shot a ‘What can you do?’ glance to Hongjoong when he frowned at him. “I’ve tried to convince myself to work up the guts to just be honest and upfront with him, but I feel like that’s somehow selfish. I don’t even know if Sangie is into guys at all, how could I just go up to him and tell him I like him? Just like you, my role in this group is to take care of everybody. I shouldn’t care about things that’ll bring my own personal benefit.”

 

“Seonghwa-hyung, try to actually think about this reasonably, okay? The group as a whole will benefit if you do something about your feelings and get all this weight you’ve been carrying off your shoulders.”

 

“I really just don’t know. If he liked me, don’t you think he’d be more open to receiving my affection? If I hug him for longer than a second, he’ll get all tense. And I can’t forget about the time where after I put a blanket on him because he passed out on the couch, he woke up, freaked out, threw the blanket off of him, and dashed into his room. Wooyoung had to persuade him to unlock the door so he could get in and sleep.”

 

“Alright…” Hongjoong licked his lips, leaning back to try and think of a good response. “Yeah, I’ll admit that was a bit of an awkward moment, but I can’t let you disregard the few times he initiated contact. Remember after our busking event? We had barely gotten out of our costumes and makeup when he bounded over to you, grabbing your hands and literally bouncing around because of how happy he was with the turnout. You’re a smart person that knows how to see different perspectives in every situation except this one. I don’t know what it is that’s making you so blind to this, but just try giving it a chance, okay? You absolutely can not give up yet.”

 

“I…” Seonghwa groaned, leaning back on his bed to shove his face into his pillow. “I’ll try? That’s really all I can say, Joong-ah…” His sentence came out muffled, but Hongjoong still understood him.

 

“Thank you. I’d hate to see you give up when you’ve got more of a chance than you think. Now stop trying to asphyxiate your frustrations away and start getting ready for our mini New Year’s party.”

 

Seonghwa mumbled out an incoherent and noncommittal response, lifting a hand off his sheets to wave Hongjoong off. There was no chance in heaven that Yeosang could have feelings for him, it was near impossible. The bubblegum-haired boy was untouchable, and Seonghwa could never find himself able to work his way up to being on his level. Sure, Seonghwa was charismatic, and when it came to Yeosang, most of his charms were set on full blast. But there was just something Yeosang was capable of that deflected all of Seonghwa’s love and affection.

 

All of the other members had known about Seonghwa’s crush when it first started over this past summer. He made sure to sit down with each member - except Yeosang - by themselves to tell them, along with offering his own relationship advice any time they might need. Like Seonghwa had expected, the six boys were accepting and supportive. But Seonghwa surely hadn’t predicted their support would be so intense to the point where they had actively tried to get Yeosang and Seonghwa together. He was grateful, but the buzz finally died down when he told the boys that if he ever came clean to Yeosang, it would be on his own terms.

 

Although, Seonghwa couldn’t decide whether or not he truly wanted to confess. Yes, Hongjoong did have a point, it would be beneficial to get his secretive affections off his chest, and would leave Seonghwa feeling much less stress. And sure, Seonghwa was a confident person, but facing possible rejection always got him nervous. He had a tendency to ramble and trip over his words whenever he got anxious, the main reason behind trying his hardest to not let any of the members be there whenever Seonghwa was having worries about one thing or another.

 

He wanted to believe Hongjoong, believe his advice, but nothing would stop the one lingering thought of “He doesn’t, and will never, like you like that.” out of his head. He wanted to believe that Yeosang could like him, but from all the signs Seonghwa had picked up on - which the other members called insane, because how could the intuitive boy be so clueless in this case? - his love was one-sided. They talked often, sure, but when it came to physical affection, Yeosang rarely ever reciprocated the actions. The logical part of Seonghwa knew that it was just the boy’s personal preference regarding skinship, but the irrational part of him couldn’t help but ponder all the reasons why Yeosang avoided  _ him _ when he was fine regarding all the other members.

 

As Seonghwa lifted his head off his pillow, he turned towards the doorway and saw Hongjoong walking out with a bundle of clothes in his hands. After checking the clock, it slowly began to settle in Seonghwa’s mind that it was in fact 8:03 at night, and he now had less than four hours to come to a decision. He decided to spare himself the stress of getting all fancily dressed up, and blindly reached for a sweatshirt at the foot of his bed. Once he got a good look at it, he realized it was Yunho’s from when he left it in Seonghwa and Hongjoong’s room. Forcing himself to sit up, he took off his tee-shirt, shivering at the cold, and quickly pulled the sweatshirt down over his head. The sweatshirt was a bit big on him, but Seonghwa had always had a liking for oversized sweatshirts. Occasionally, he’d steal one of Yunho or Mingi’s bigger sweatshirts just to be wrapped in the soft, warm comfort.

 

8:14. Three hours and forty-six minutes left in the year to make his decision. Confess to Yeosang? Keep his secret a secret? Time was running out, and Seonghwa was only getting more conflicted as the seconds ticked away.

 

“Hyung?” A soft knock sounded on the door, and Seonghwa answered the voice with a “Yeah?” starting to stand up from off the bed. “Can I come in?”

 

“Yeah, of course.” Seonghwa couldn’t help but smile as San walked in, his eyes bright. “What’s up, is everything alright?”

 

“Yeah, totally! I just wanted to make sure you were all good. Whenever you want, we’re all claiming spots in the living room. Both chairs and a spot on the couch - me - are already taken, so I’d suggest to hurry up.” San giggled, turning back towards the door. “Jongho’s about to break open the champagne, if that motivates you to come down any faster.”

 

Seonghwa grinned. “I’ll be right down, Sannie. You don’t have to worry about me.” The younger boy nodded and left the room, and Seonghwa peered over at his small bedside mirror. He still had some remnants of eyeliner staining the corners of his eyes, so he took a makeup wipe and started rubbing at the smudges of red and black. Finally makeup-free, Seonghwa shoved his hands into his jeans pockets, exiting his room and flicking off the light switch. The boys had already started to get a little rowdy by the time Seonghwa had joined them, glasses of the sparkling beverage in hand.

 

“Hyung,” Mingi called, an already half-empty bottle of champagne gripped tightly in his fist. “Want some? It’s good!”

 

“Sure, sure,” Seonghwa wasn’t much of a drinker - he never was, and it was the same for the rest of the members, especially with their idol schedule, but the holiday season was an exception. He took the glass Mingi just poured and took a long gulp of the champagne. They had bought the sweetest kind they could find, so the alcohol had a strong taste like soda, but it still slightly burned Seonghwa’s throat as it went down. “Just make sure we don’t drink an insane amount. First, because it’s unhealthy with all the preparing for our comeback we’re in the middle of. Second, I don’t want to take care of seven hungover people. Third, because this is our first New Year’s as Ateez, and I don’t want you all getting trashed to the point where you don’t remember tonight.”

 

The boys agreed, a chorus of six different sentences rising up. That was right, six. Yeosang - according to Yunho - still hadn’t come out of his room. He still wasn’t out by the time the seven boys had finished their first round of drinks and made a unanimous decision to migrate to their living room. Seonghwa sat on the edge of the couch, next to San, who was next to Wooyoung, who was next to Jongho on the other end of the couch. Hongjoong was curled up in one of the chairs alongside the couch, and Yunho and Mingi had squeezed themselves into the other chair on the opposite side of the couch. Why had the two tallest members tried to fit themselves into a small chair meant for one person? Seonghwa didn’t know, but somehow the two of them made it work.

 

Wooyoung turned on the TV and aimlessly flipped through the channels, trying to find something that would satisfy all of them. “Hey, look at who joined us!” Jongho smiled teasingly as he saw Yeosang approaching from the hallway, his hair ruffled and falling in his eyes.

 

Yeosang managed a smile. “Are there any open seats left?” When he got no response, he answered the question himself. “I’m assuming no, so I’ll just get a blanket from my room and sit on the fl-”

 

“No way are you gonna sit on the floor, Sang-ah.” Yunho stated. Yeosang at first had smiled gratefully at his best friend, but his expression quickly turned to one of fear when he saw that a classic devilish spark lit itself in Yunho’s eyes. “Just sit on someone. My vote’s on Seonghwa-hyung, that sweatshirt he has looks comfortable.”

 

Yeosang’s eyes widened, looking at Yunho with a silent shout of “Seriously, dude?! Could you make things any more obvious?” Yeosang was trying to make eye contact with Yunho, see if he could glare some sense into him, but the taller boy was busy looking at Seonghwa, mouthing something to him.

 

“Isn’t that my sweatshirt?” Yunho mouthed, narrowing his eyes playfully.

 

“Yep. Your fault for leaving it on my bed.” Seonghwa continued the silent conversation and stuck his tongue out at the boy, silently laughing. For being the oldest member, he certainly had points in his life where it would be impossible to tell.

 

Yeosang had no idea how everyone else was so calm. Did they not hear Yunho practically tell him to go sit down on Seonghwa’s lap? And speak - well,  _ think  _ \- of the devil, Seonghwa twisted around to face Yeosang with a blinding, beautiful smile. “You can if you want to. I don’t really care.”

 

Seonghwa wanted to smack Yunho upside the head for being so lucid and obvious, but he was admittedly a bit grateful. Yunho was saying what Seonghwa couldn’t, although indirectly.

 

“I… Well, it’s alright. I’m fine. I mean, I don’t have to, I’ll just sit on the arm of the couch; it’s comfy enough.” Yeosang said. Seonghwa shrugged, trying to keep his slight disappointment hidden. “Uh, thanks, though?” Yeosang muttered, walking into the kitchen to grab the bottle of champagne and pour himself a generous glass. He was almost halfway through it by the time he walked back to the others, perching himself up on the arm of the couch. Jongho was trying to convince the others to do karaoke, and upon Yeosang’s return, the maknae implored him for his opinion. “Hey, as long as you don’t break any apples, I’m cool with it.”

 

As the minutes passed by, more drinks were served until each and every one of the boys were at least tipsy. Karaoke with the Ateez boys was chaotic when they were sober, so one could only imagine how a less-than-sober Ateez handled something like this. At one point, Hongjoong had used his champagne flute as a microphone to rap into, and Wooyoung cleared the floor so he’d have enough room to dance and sing to BTS’ Spring Day. Before the boys realized it, it had turned to 11:02. Just fifty-eight minutes left in the year. 2018 had been a long journey - no pun intended - for them, and the future was nothing short of unpredictable.

 

“Was everyone happy with how this year turned out?” It was Hongjoong who asked this, leaning back in his chair. “I mean, so much happened. We debuted, for god’s sake. I just wanna know if you guys loved this year as much as I did, y’know?”

 

“There were a lot of ups and downs,” Mingi answered. “But even though 2018 had more twists and turns than a rollercoaster, yeah, I’m overall happy. It kinda feels surreal, though? I mean, I’m still stuck in 2012 at times.”

 

“I totally get what you mean, hyung,” Jongho stared at the ceiling. “Time is just going so quickly, and sometimes I feel like I move along with it, but then there’ll be times where I get dragged by the times. But this year brought me you guys, so even if it can be crazy, it knows what it’s doing.”

 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you guys,” Wooyoung stated simply. “You’re more than just my best friends or my bandmates, you’re my family. I love you all so damn much, and I couldn’t be happier about the fact that you’re all in my life. I know that we’re gonna go far, I do.”

 

“We’ll make it big.” San reaffirmed. “We put so much into what we do, and it is going to pay off. Part of it already is, I mean, Atinys care about us so much, and we haven’t even been a debuted group for a hundred days. 2019 is going to be our year. The first of many ‘our year’s.”

 

“You’re right.” Yunho sighed happily. “All of this hard work, all of this team work… We’re the people that made ourselves a name to remember. Us, us being strong… I know we always say ‘eight makes one team’, but I feel like now, it’s hitting me harder than ever before. If I had one wish, it’s for everyone to let go of any demons they’ve been holding on to in the last…” He checked his phone. “In the last twenty-three minutes we have in 2018.”

 

_ He totally directed that at me… _ Yeosang thought, shifting around on the couch’s arm. Were there really only twenty-three minutes left?

 

_ That was meant for me, wasn’t it?  _ Seonghwa asked himself. Maybe Yunho was right, maybe Seonghwa should shut down his nerves before they could overtake his senses, and just go and tell Yeosang how he had felt for months now. Maybe. Slowly, he lifted his hand, placing it gently against Yeosang’s knee. The younger boy tensed up at first, but released his tensions as he looked down at Seonghwa, the expression on his face both flustered and curious. “You look uncomfortable there. I’ll move over a bit, but please, just come and sit on the actual couch, alright?” Seonghwa’s heart was pounding in his chest, all his nerve endings buzzing because he was finally making some sort of move.

 

“Really?” Yeosang’s throat felt dry, and he started to feel the slightest bit lightheaded, and not from the minimal alcohol he had drank. “I guess, if it’s really not that much of a problem for you, that would be fine.” Seonghwa’s hand was soft and warm, and Yeosang could feel the heat emanating from his hand to his leg where it was resting.

 

“Yes, really. Don’t be silly,” Seonghwa shifted his body away from the edge of the couch, moving his hand, and opening a small spot that Yeosang could fit into. The couch was crowded now, but the four members already on the couch were practically cuddling already, so what was one more person? “C’mere.”

 

Reluctantly, Yeosang got off the arm of the couch and sat down on the actual seat, sandwiched between the edge and Seonghwa. He wouldn’t be surprised if any of the other boys could hear his heartbeat; the pulse in his chest was making blood roar in his ears. Yeosang was tense, and he knew it, but he willed himself to slowly start relaxing. Twelve minutes left… After one big exhale, Yeosang let his head rest against Seonghwa’s shoulder. The sweatshirt material was brushing against his face, and Yeosang thought about what Yunho had said earlier about the sweatshirt. He was right. And maybe, just maybe, he was right about other things he had said earlier.

 

Yeosang. Was. Resting. His. Head. Against. Seonghwa’s. Shoulder. The dark-haired boy was screaming inside with pure elation. Eleven minutes left in the year, but those eleven minutes might be containing a certain Kang Yeosang returning Seonghwa’s affection. Although he didn’t want to take things too far and scare Yeosang away, he tried to get just the slightest bit closer to him. He moved his arm from where it was wedged in between them and carefully put his arm around Yeosang’s shoulders. Yeosang almost shot straight up from his seated position at first, but after a few moments he was able to relax, and even leaned into Seonghwa’s touch. The older boy was convinced he was dreaming. He had been the one to initiate the ‘no getting wasted’ policy, but if he was seeing Yeosang interact with him so openly… This must be some sort sort of alcohol-induced hallucination. Was this some sort of sign from the end-of-the-year gods? Were they telling Seonghwa to use the last - god, now it was only seven - minutes left to his advantage?

 

The two sat in a relative silence, getting enjoyment from the lively boys in front of them. Yunho and Mingi looked like they were… Sparring? Hongjoong, Wooyoung, and San were threading between them animatedly, cheering the name of one or the other. Jongho had stood on one of the chairs, calling out numbers and bets and wagers like some sort of auctioneer. With the newly opened space on the couch, they had the ability to separate quite a bit, but neither of them took the opportunity. Seonghwa could have sworn that Yunho - in the middle of his  _ god knows what  _ with Mingi - gave him some sort of triumphant look. There was a gleam in his dark brown eyes that didn’t just come from the lights above them.

 

Yeosang wanted to be blaming this all on the alcohol. But he was just barely buzzed from the champagne. The “liquid confidence” wasn’t any sort of substance, it was just himself taking Yunho’s words to heart. If he got rejected, so be it. He was spending his last few minutes of 2018 in the arms of the boy he was enamored with, and he was going to take these last few minutes and run with them until he faced rejection. Tonight was the night. He was going to do it.

 

Seonghwa stared at the clock, watching the 57 turn to s 58. One hundred twenty seconds left in the year, and that was it. He had to tell Yeosang. There wasn’t any time left to waste by debating with himself. It was now or never, and Seonghwa hadn’t ever lived a moment where he took ‘never’ as an option, and he wasn’t going to start that habit now. 11:59.

 

“Guys, get up! It’s the last minute!” Mingi demanded. Hongjoong grabbed Seonghwa’s arm, and Yunho grabbed Yeosang’s arm, and they both lifted their respective friends off the couch, stumbling towards the area of the television. With the real world clock pulled up, they could see the seconds tick down in real time. Just thirty seconds left…

 

Yeosang didn’t know who it was that screamed “I’ve been waiting my whole life for 2019 to come!”, but it made him laugh so hard he was practically doubled over. The power of being with his best friends - his family, really - had gotten him into the New Year’s spirit so quickly, he almost forgot what his last goal of 2018 was. Almost.

 

Ten seconds left. Yunho and Hongjoong had let go of the two and turned to face towards the clock and television.

 

Nine. Seonghwa’s hand brushed against Yeosang’s. Accidental? Maybe. 

 

Eight. Yeosang looked Seonghwa dead in the eye, taking his hand in his own. If the first time had been an accident, this wasn’t.

 

Seven. Seonghwa lightly squeezed Yeosang’s hand, sending a chill up his arm that wrapped around his spine, making him shiver as he returned the action.

 

Six. Yeosang grabbed Seonghwa’s other hand, rubbing his thumb on the warm, golden skin.

 

Five. Seonghwa pulled Yeosang towards him, now only inches away from him, their chests a few breaths away from touching.

 

Four. Yeosang tilted his head upwards, looking at Seonghwa as a dusting of pink coated his cheeks.

 

Three. Seonghwa removed one of his hands from Yeosang’s grip to brush the younger’s hair away from his eyes before immediately replacing it.

 

Two. Yeosang’s gaze shifted from Seonghwa’s eyes to his lips, just barely parted.

 

One. Seonghwa leaned forward the slightest bit, his eyes almost fluttering shut.

 

The clock struck twelve.

 

Cheers erupted all around Yeosang, but he was deaf to the noise. He yanked his hands away from Seonghwa’s, which startled the older boy and made him back up a few inches, but he was pulled back when Yeosang wrapped his arms around his neck. Yeosang’s hands snaked their way into Seonghwa’s hair and pushed the taller boy towards himself, eyes screwing shut once their lips collided. Seonghwa was stoic at first, and Yeosang was terrified, but all his worries dissipated when Seonghwa started to kiss back, mouth moving in time with his own.

 

Yeosang hadn’t ever imagined their first kiss even happening, but now that it was, he would have expected it to be a bit gentler. This was comprised of pure desperation and want. They had both wanted this for months, and now, a bit spurred on by the bubbly champagne in their veins, they got what they wanted. Yeosang’s hands hadn’t left the back of Seonghwa’s head, and he kept the other boy close to him, barely allowing either of them any room to breathe. With the way Yeosang was simultaneously pulling Seonghwa down towards him and leaning into him to try and connect with him at every possible point, their bodies were forming soft curved lines, parallel against one another.

 

Seonghwa’s arms had been resting along Yeosang’s waist, but as the kiss grew in heat and passion, his hands travelled slightly downward, now gripping at Yeosang’s hips. The movement caused Yeosang to inhale sharply, his lips parting with a soft gasp escaping his lips. Yeosang, wanting to even the playing field, tightened his grip on Seonghwa’s hair and lightly tugged at the ebony strands. He grinned into the kiss as Seonghwa emitted the same reaction Yeosang had. And Yeosang, feeling brave and ever, took Seonghwa’s open mouth as an opportunity. He tentatively ran his tongue over Seonghwa’s bottom lip, not knowing how the older would react. But all his hesitancy went out the window when he felt Seonghwa’s tongue connect with his own.

 

Yeosang leaned back, his chest pressing up into Seonghwa’s, who was now bending forward, almost lifted off the ground from the force of Yeosang. They wished they could stay like this forever - their first days of the new year spent wrapped in each other’s embrace, not caring about anything except the feel of the other’s mouth on theirs.

 

“Holy shit, guys, look!” Yunho’s excited yelp broke through the silence Yeosang and Seonghwa had created for themselves, and they pulled away from each other, Seonghwa’s arm around Yeosang’s waist being the only thing that could indicate they had been in any sort of contact. The six pairs of eyes were all on Seonghwa and Yeosang, who sheepishly stared back at them, cheeks flushed red. Yunho was beaming. “I am so goddamn proud of you guys! Took you long enough to finally come to terms with this!”

 

“And when I told you to do this before the year ended, I didn’t think you’d procrastinate it to the point that you did it as the year was changing!” Hongjoong added, his smile lighting up the room. 

 

“Hold up.” Seonghwa turned to Yeosang. “You’ve liked me back all this time? Dude, how was I supposed to get that from you always avoiding me?”

 

“I thought that if I got too close to you I wouldn’t be able to hide my feelings. And I thought you were straight!” Yeosang protested.

 

“What? Sangie, I thought you were straight and my skinship made you uncomfortable.”

 

“Okay, as much as I love the premiere of this drama show,” Jongho said, “We totally just interrupted the lovebirds. So I propose that we give them five minutes alone, and then we choose a room to have a giant sleepover in to celebrate the new year. And if by five minutes after when we start the timer Yeosang-hyung and Seonghwa-hyung aren’t back, we’re sending someone to break them up.”

 

For a few moments, the rest of the group just stared at Jongho. After Mingi said, “I think that was the thing that I’ve heard of fans talking about before… Maknae on top culture, I think they said?”, the others nodded and quickly agreed to the idea. Once they decided where they would all stay for the night - San and Yunho’s room - Jongho set a five minute timer on his almost dead phone.

 

“Ready… Set…” Jongho made a big deal of holding out the pause, before finishing with an energetically shouted “Go!” and sprinted off towards Yunho and San’s shared room. The others followed suit in laughter, Yunho being the last to leave. He only departed after giving both boys a high-five, gushing about how proud he was.

 

“You really liked me all this time?” Yeosang sighed as Seonghwa nodded. “Well, now I feel like an idiot. I guess I was so set on me getting rejected if I ever told you, so I didn’t believe you were capable of having feelings for you. Every ultra-caring thing you did, I just passed it off as you being a good and caring hyung…” Seonghwa laughed softly, gazing at Yeosang with nothing but admiration in his eyes. “I really wasted all these months thinking that you’d never like me, but you were just in the same situation as me. You know, I really think that sometimes the world is out to get me. We could have been together for I don’t even know how long!” Yeosang groaned, burying his head in Seonghwa’s chest. “Remind me to never get in my own head again, hyung? Please?”

 

“Of course, Yeosangie. Of course.” Seonghwa tilted his head down to press a small kiss against the top of Yeosang’s head. “Now, do you want to use our fading five minutes, or just go straight to the others?”

 

Yeosang looked up with a smirk. He laced Seonghwa’s hands with his own as he stood upright, almost at eye level with him. Leaning close, their lips just barely brushing against each other’s, he whispered, “You tell me, Seongie-hyung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this!! This was a lot of fun for me to write once I got it going. School starts up for me again today, so updates might be a bit slower, although they will be steady. Feedback is always appreciated!!
> 
> Have a good day/night, atiny!!


	4. prompt four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Their love was supposed to be a fire. Hot with a dangerous passion, yet intricate and beautiful. But contained. It was never supposed to spiral out of control into a raging inferno, ravishing and ruining everything - and everyone - in its path."
> 
> Warnings: angst (lots of it, with hurt/comfort [it has a good ending]) and some heavy language

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello atinys!! How is everyone feeling about the comeback?! I've been freaking, the 15th can't come fast enough!!
> 
> Anyway, this chapter has a dramatic/angsty feel to it, as a concept like that was requested! It's also an AU! In it, the real ages are kept, as Seonghwa is a year older than Yeosang. As for the other members, a large portion of them don't show up, as this is a chapter with heavy introspective focus. San is there, Wooyoung and Mingi are mentioned, but that's all.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!! And don't worry too much about the angst, it's got a pretty good ending

**4: Throwing their arms around the other person, holding them close while they kiss**

* * *

Seonghwa never should have fallen in love. And if he could, he’d go back in time, and he’d save himself from heartbreak. Almost two years since his heart was shattered, but all this time splintered the fragile boy instead of healing him. It was said that time could heal all wounds, but some things were too broken to ever be fixed again. As much as Seonghwa tried to make himself believe he was fine, the pain of  _ him  _ ate away at him like acid. Every day, Seonghwa would think about the boy that owned his heart. Owned it, crushed it, and left it for dead. But for all that  _ he  _ did to Seonghwa,  _ he  _ still possessed full control of his heart.

Seonghwa had given everything to  _ him _ . Kang Yeosang; Seonghwa’s first love, first kiss, first  _ everything _ , and most importantly, first heartbreak. He thought that he and Yeosang would have been able to last through anything. It didn’t matter what the world threw at them, because they’d overcome it. It didn’t matter who hated them for being themselves, because their love for each other blocked it out. At least, it should have. Their love was supposed to be a fire. Hot with a dangerous passion, yet intricate and beautiful. But contained. It was never supposed to spiral out of control into a raging inferno, ravishing and ruining everything - and everyone - in its path. Yeosang and Seonghwa had it in their minds that they’d always be together. That their first love would be forever.

Seonghwa didn’t know what drove them apart. He had no idea what the catalyst was that caused Yeosang to leave him behind. He thought about it every day, every goddamn day, but he was always left with a blank mind, heavy heart, and watery eyes. It was all so out of the blue. They seemed fine. More than fine. They seemed happy, like everything was and always would be okay. It was only after that Seonghwa realized, even if one appeared happy, there was so much hidden behind a fake smile that nobody could ever know. He had been trying to move past the breakup every day since it happened. But Yeosang’s words, his face, everything about the situation… It plagued Seonghwa’s mind, never letting him forget. And it left him wondering, on nights where the darkness was his enemy and sleep wanted nothing to do with him, if Yeosang had ever loved him.

_ “I just can’t do this anymore! Why can’t you just understand that already?” Yeosang looked exasperated, running his hands through his cherry blossom hair. _

_ “Yeosang-ah, I just- Where did this all come from?” Seonghwa’s voice was level, all too calm for the situation. But if he told himself this wasn’t happening, maybe he’d start to believe it. _

_ “Should it matter? I’ve told you how many times in the past five minutes that we’re over, so just explain why the hell you haven’t processed that yet! You. And. I. Are. Done. I. Am. Not. Your. Boyfriend.” _

_ “Yeosang-” Seonghwa was barely able to choke out the boy’s name. _

_ “Listen, okay? This was inevitable. We lasted for three years, and that’s pretty impressive, but it’s over.” Yeosang reached out and patted Seonghwa’s shoulder as if he were a small child receiving pity. He walked away then, not once looking back. _

“Stop.” Seonghwa’s voice was low, somewhat strained from whispering around the lump that had formed in his throat. “That was back then. It’s been almost two damn years, so pull yourself out of that memory and focus on something else.” Since the breakup, Seonghwa had become a shell of his former self. He was his own best friend and worst enemy. He’d talked to himself more in these past two years than he ever did before in his life.

Exhaling shakily, he walked towards his apartment’s bathroom, peering at the mirror. He watched his own reflection stare back at him - dull, stolid, and cold - and brushed his hair out of his forehead. At least that gave him something to smile about, even if it were only a half attempted grin. His roommate had convinced him to do something unexpected to “get out of this slump, because I want my happy Seongie-hyung back.”, and it ended with the two going out for the day and returning with a fresh hair color. Seonghwa’s roommate - and let’s face it, best friend - had changed his green hair back to a natural black, and Seonghwa did quite the opposite. He never expected to look good in colors other than black, brown, and maybe even a dark blue, but once he saw himself with his new golden hair? Seonghwa’s smile was brighter than his hair, and he had tackled his best friend with a hug when they returned home, thanking him profusely.

Seonghwa hadn’t changed anything about himself since the breakup almost two years ago; he barely even had any new clothes. So this change, well, it made him start to believe that it would be possible to get over Yeosang. He’d spent two years of his life longing for a phantom boy whose last words to him were “It’s over.” Maybe it was time to let go… Seonghwa took one last look at himself, whispering, “This is your life. Make it that way.” and stepped out of the bathroom, turning towards the apartment door. “Sannie?” He called softly. If the boy were still sleeping, he wouldn’t want to wake the younger up.

“What’s up, hyung?” He asked, poking his head out of the doorway to his room and beaming upon eye contact with Seonghwa. “Everything good?”

“Yeah, I’m alright, I guess. Thanks. And you?”

“Pretty good, pretty good.” He walked out of his room and strolled towards Seonghwa. “You could be happier. I can tell. Come out for coffee with me? I’ve gotta meet Wooyoungie later but that doesn’t mean I can’t spend time with my best friend now.”

“I don’t know, I mean, I think I need to… Uh…” Seonghwa looked around for an excuse to not leave the apartment. “I need to do the dishes.”

“Hyung.” San deadpanned. “That was quite possibly the worst and most obvious excuse I’ve ever heard from you, which is saying a lot. Please? It’s a new place, called Twilight, right on the street corner.”

Seonghwa sighed. Even if all he wanted to do was lie in bed until the sun rose again, he knew it would be better for him to get some fresh air. “Okay. Just let me get my jacket.” San nodded, and Seonghwa quickly entered his room, grabbed his coat from off his bed, and just as quickly returned to where San was waiting. “Alright, Twilight, here we come.”

Yeosang lived his life with (almost) no regrets. Everything he did had a reason, and he only ever did what he wanted, when he felt it right. His decisions were a careful plan (almost) all his own. There was only one time where he ever acted based on what somebody else wanted. And that course of action led to the one regret in Yeosang’s life.

When Yeosang had been younger, his mother and father always expected their handsome son to marry a pretty girl, and have sweet children with the girl. But Yeosang never had any desires to marry a girl, and he needed time to muster up the courage to tell his parents so. When Yeosang had just entered high school, he decided to be honest with his parents, and he told the two of them he was gay. Now, his parents didn’t have an explosive reaction. They didn’t scream that their son was an abomination or kick him out of the house. But in Yeosang’s mind, their reaction was much worse. They laughed at him. They called him a silly little boy, going through a phase, bound to return to his senses once he saw a girl he thought looked nice.

So Yeosang had been beyond ecstatic to prove his parents’ suspicions wrong, especially with a beautiful boy he was able to call his own. Yeosang loved Seonghwa with everything he was. Yeosang was more than happy when he met Seonghwa. The boy was a year older than him, but Yeosang had been placed in an advanced science class, setting up where they would meet. The two had instantly hit it off, and within a month went public with their relationship. Whenever Seonghwa had come to Yeosang’s house, his mother and father would always try to break Seonghwa away from their son. But their attempts had been in vain, and Yeosang could only laugh at them when he tuned their muffled protests out - they were blocked by the closed door of Yeosang’s room - and settled over Seonghwa’s body, capturing his lips in a kiss.

Yeosang wanted them to last forever, but there was always one insecure part of him, living in the back of his mind, feeding him lies of “He doesn’t really want you,” and “Just wait until he finds someone better.” He tried to tune out the voices just like he did his parents’ voices - whose message was the same (“This relationship will end soon.”) - but it always ended in him being unsuccessful. It always ended in him staring out his bedroom window, wondering why he let his parents’ thoughts get to him in the first place.

It was when Seonghwa was going to leave for university that Yeosang’s insecurities started to overpower his sanity. Seonghwa would be off living his life while Yeosang was stuck in high school. His parents had reminded him every day that no relationship could ever work like that, and they kept beating the notion into his head until he believed it. Seonghwa should get the chance to live his life without being tied down by a high school boyfriend. Seonghwa deserved to be with someone much better than Yeosang ever could be. Yeosang loved Seonghwa so damn much, but didn’t the old saying advise that he needed to let him go?

When Yeosang broke up with Seonghwa, he couldn’t even give a straight reason. What was he supposed to have said? “You’re too good for me, so I’m dumping you.”? He had been angry. Angry at Seonghwa for being a year older and leaving to go to college in what had been a few months. Angry at his mother and father for making him believe that their relationship would never last. It had been three years, and Yeosang would have spent three lifetimes with Seonghwa, but his damned parents had finally won, convincing him that Seonghwa and him would never work. But most of all, he was furious with himself. For being so weak that he believed his parents’ words. For being so blunt with his words. He saw Seonghwa’s heart break when he broke up with the boy, and all he could do was walk away after saying “It’s over.”

Yeosang couldn’t live with himself after. With the last few weeks of school there were left in the year, he just stayed home. Alone in his room. Just him, his tears, and his regret. Yeosang had let the best part of his life go. Two years later, Yeosang was almost exactly the same. He had finished high school and was going to dance school, but he still spent every single day feeling alone and sorry for himself. And by god, it was a nauseating thing to feel. To be at such a low point in life where he pitied himself? It disgusted Yeosang. It was his best friend, Mingi, that was a major help in getting Yeosang back to, at the very least, being able to function. Mingi had been there for Yeosang since they were eight, and he was the first - and only - person Yeosang confided in after the breakup. Yeosang had been crying in the boy’s bathroom at school and called Mingi, saying he needed to spend the night at his house. The whole night, Yeosang didn’t sleep. His tears never stopped. They had come in waves; they ranged from silent tears to gut-wrenching sobs, all of which ended with Yeosang’s head being buried in Mingi’s chest, as if that were the way to escape the painful reality of what he had done.

Through the span of two years, Yeosang had done almost everything to try and forget about Seonghwa. He tried changing himself. Nothing ever worked. Today, all he amounted to was: Kang Yeosang, dance student and former hair dye enthusiast. He had never returned to pink after the breakup, it was a cursed color to him. Now, as it had been for about a year, Yeosang had donned black hair. Simple and mundane. Forgettable. Exactly like Yeosang had felt. But as dark and worthless and forgettable as he felt, he always kept two promises he had made. One, to Mingi, was that Yeosang would come up with one good thing about each day he faced. And the other was to Seonghwa. Yeosang had promised the boy on the first day they met he’d get famous for dancing. He used those two promises to keep him going.

Today hadn’t been particularly bad for Yeosang, or particularly good. It mostly just existed, so Yeosang was sold on the fact that his “One Not Terrible Thing About Today” to Mingi would be that the coffee he had gotten at the new café in town tasted like heaven. It was a place called Twilight, a small coffee shop that had been open for just three days, but was quickly gaining a reputation, because yeah, their coffee was that good. Yeosang was savoring his drink, sitting back in the shop’s chair. This environment was quiet and peaceful, and it certainly didn’t feel like it belonged in this town. Something about the shop just made Yeosang feel at ease. That is, until, the door burst open with two boys striding through, one saying “Sannie, please, for the love of all things holy, don’t bring a live animal to his house.”

It didn’t matter how odd that statement just was, because that voice? Yeosang could recognize it anywhere. His eyes were comically wide, and he scrambled to put his sweatshirt’s hood on over his head, hiding himself from any view. Yeosang’s heart was pounding, and he truly thought he might cry. He hadn’t seen Seonghwa in two years, and now here he was. He looked beautiful. Since when did he decide to go blonde? He looked healthy, too. And his heart ached when he saw Seonghwa smile. He looked happy, which was something that Yeosang had taken away from him the last time they saw each other. He was holding hands with a black-haired boy, pulling out his wallet to get money for drinks. Were the two of them together?

Yeosang couldn’t stop the pang of jealousy that stung his heart, but he was instantly angry with himself for feeling it. How could he even have the right to be jealous? The boy probably treated Seonghwa better than Yeosang could have ever hoped to. Yeosang felt like his throat was closing, his eyes slowly filling with tears that he tried desperately to blink back. His grip tightened on his coffee cup to the point where the lid almost popped off. Trying to not lose control of his breathing, he stared out the window, trying to focus on something.

Seonghwa and his possible boyfriend took their seats on the couch, both of them holding a drink. They were aimlessly chatting for a few minutes before the other boy looked down at his watch and gasped, shooting up from his seat on the couch. “Hyung, I gotta go pick Wooyoungie up and then catch the train so we don’t miss the reservation I set up.”

Seonghwa laughed, and Yeosang’s heart melted. “Have a great night, San-ah! And tell Wooyoung I say happy anniversary to the both of you.”

San grinned and bounded out through the door, his melodic “Bye, hyung!” ringing through the air. Yeosang’s heart couldn’t help but do a leap of hope when it clicked that Seonghwa and the other one - San - weren’t dating. Seonghwa took what appeared to be a final swig of his drink, and stood up. He was moving towards the garbage bin. He was going to leave. Yeosang wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he just let Seonghwa walk away. He needed to apologize. Finally set things right.

“Seonghwa-ssi?” Yeosang’s voice was hesitant and timid, a perfect representation of how he was feeling.

The blonde boy turned around from near the bin with a puzzled expression to find the source of the voice. And when he made eye contact with Yeosang, and recognized who it was, the expression on his face was unreadable. It looked like he was on autopilot as he trudged towards Yeosang.

Seonghwa’s heart and mind were running a mile a minute. What was Yeosang doing here? Why did he call him over? Why did he sound so strained and formal? Why were the bags under his eyes almost as dark as his hair? When did he color it again? What was so important that he had to say? Why was Seonghwa walking over to the boy who broke his heart.

“Seonghwa-ssi, I-” Yeosang’s voice cracked as he looked up to see Seonghwa standing over him, expression still indecipherable. In all his life, Yeosang had never felt as small and guilty as he did now. “I just- Can I talk to you? I swear it’ll only take a minute and then you can leave and you won’t have to think about me again I just really need to say something if that’s okay with you.”

Without saying a word, Seonghwa sat down across from him.

“I’m so fucking sorry.” Yeosang could see the tone of Seonghwa’s eyes change from cold and blank to the way they were when Yeosang had broken up with him two years ago. And at that moment, Yeosang no longer had the strength to fight back his tears. “I- Fuck, I hurt you and I know that I did and I know I am never going to forgive myself for how horrible I was to you but I just wanted to voice how sorry I am because you deserve someone so much better than me and I know you’ve probably found him by now and… I don’t even know where I’m trying to go with this, I’m sorry, I’ll just- I’ll leave.” Yeosang looked away and covered his face with the sleeves of his sweatshirt, trying to block out the red splotches that had formed on his cheeks from shame, embarrassment, and his own tears.

“Sangie?” Seonghwa couldn’t tell what he himself was feeling. At the same time all his anger at Yeosang was surging up and he wanted to scream at the boy and make him hurt like he’d been hurt before, the same twist in his heart that would show up whenever Yeosang got upset revealed itself and Seonghwa didn’t know how to react. He stiffened after hearing how he spoke to Yeosang using his nickname whereas Yeosang addressed him as “-ssi”. “Yeosang. I accept your apology, alright? Now, if you don’t mind, can we go sit outside and finish this conversation that needs to happen?” Seonghwa was calm, his voice level. But inside? His heart was beating ten times faster. He had gone from thinking he’d never see Yeosang again to receiving an apology from the boy.

“I really don’t want to stay outside,” Yeosang admitted, the statement coming out muffled due to his sweatshirt sleeves covering his face. “But I want to finish talking to you.”

“Do you want to come back to my apartment then?” Seonghwa asked quietly. “It’s’ actually pretty close, just a three minute walk away.

“Okay.” Yeosang was barely able to get the word to pass his lips. He stood up, still refusing to make eye contact with Seonghwa. Silently, with his hands in his pockets, he followed the older boy through the town streets, and remained silent even as they entered the apartment building. When Seonghwa unlocked the door to his apartment, Yeosang shook his head. “No, I can’t. I’m sorry. This is your private place, I shouldn’t be here, I-”

“Yeosang. I am inviting you in.” Seonghwa was about to just reach out and grab Yeosang’s wrist and yank him into his apartment, but he stopped himself once he remembered that Yeosang would freak out when anybody touched his wrists. Slowly, he took one of the boy’s trembling hands in his own. Seonghwa tried to think nothing of the action, but there was a heat that spread through Seonghwa’s palm that he couldn’t ignore. “Come in, please.”

Yeosang was hesitant, but he still stepped into the apartment, doing everything to refrain from properly holding Seonghwa’s hand, interlocking their fingers and all. “Can I tell you why?”

Seonghwa’s heart was feeling all sorts of conflicting feelings, but nevertheless he gently led Yeosang to the couch, sitting on the coffee table across from him. He nodded, ready to brace himself for anything Yeosang had to say. 

“My parents kept telling me that once you went to college you’d find someone better and move on from me. That because you’re a year older I wouldn’t be able to provide what you wanted because you’d be at university and I was still in high school. And I didn’t want to put you through that. I… I thought that if I ended things, yeah, it would hurt me, but you’d end up happy. Which was all I ever wanted for you since we met. And I know it’s been years, and I can’t take back what I said, or how much of a bitch I was when I said it, but I just want you to know,” Yeosang shuddered, tears rolling crystal tracks down his cheeks. “I am and forever will be sorry. I know I don’t have any sort of excuse, but all I can really say is that I want you to be happy. I mean, you’ve probably already got guys all over you-”

“I haven’t been with anyone. You’re my first and my only, Sangie.” There he went again with the nickname. He scratched at the back of his neck. “I meant Yeosang, sorry. I keep forgetting we aren’t on those terms anymore.”

_ But I wish we were…  _ Both boys thought in sync. They looked at each other as if they could read the other’s thoughts, but Yeosang looked away two seconds into the eye contact. “You don’t look well.” Seonghwa commented to break the silence.

“Yeah, well, I haven’t gotten a decent night of sleep since junior year. And even then I didn’t sleep that often. I’m just running out of makeup to cover the lack-of-sleep look up ‘cause I waste it all on covering my birthmark.”

“I still don’t understand why you do that. It was always one of my favorite physical features of yours.”

“I don’t like it, and you know- knew that. You always knew there were a lot of parts about myself I don’t like.”

“And I was always there to boost your confidence…” Seonghwa murmured, more to himself than Yeosang.

“You were. See, I was always dragging you down. That’s what I mean, you deserve somebody better than what I have to offer.”

“Yeosang, I chose you all those years ago for a reason. For you, and everything that you were. Your quick wit and handsomeness were just as precious and important to me as your anxieties and insecurities.”

Yeosang turned to face Seonghwa. His eyes looked glassy from the welling tears. “I don’t deserve you. Really, I think I should g-”

“I don’t want you leaving. Like hell am I letting you just walk out of my life again.” Here it was, Seonghwa’s anger bubbling up to the surface just under overflowing, like magma. But his anger was mixing with his overwhelmed state, and it left him also on the verge of crying. “Am I still frustrated with you? Yeah. And do I wish you would have told me all of this instead of dumping me flat on my ass? I really do.” Seonghwa lifted his hand to brush a stray piece of hair away from Yeosang’s eyes. “And I wish your parents didn’t put all those lies in your head. I would never have left you. I love you.” It never occurred to Seonghwa that he had said  _ love _ , not  _ loved _ .

But Yeosang realized, and he stiffened. Seonghwa still loved him? “I know, it… It was stupid of me to think that you’d end up finding someone else. You aren’t like that.”

“Come here.”

“What? I’m right here.”

Seonghwa shook his head, pushing himself further back on the coffee table and patting the now empty space in front of him. “Here.”

“Seonghwa-ssi,” The honorific sat heavy on Yeosang’s tongue, the urge to say  _ hyung  _ practically choking him. I really don’t think you’re thinking straight…”

“If you don’t want to, that’s alright,” Seonghwa assured him. “But I know what I’m asking for with you. I’ve known for all three years we were together.”

“Oh… Okay.” Yeosang was shaky as he pushed himself off the couch, settling on the small table in front of Seonghwa, sitting back on his lower legs and heels.

“Yeosangie,” Seonghwa said, the nickname making Yeosang visibly shiver. “It’s going to take a lot to get back to where we were. I can’t just jump back into things, and I know you know that. Also, you can call me what you want.” He ran his hand through Yeosang’s hair, the black contrasting well against Seonghwa’s golden skin. His gaze slowly fell down to Yeosang’s lips. They were chapped, most likely from a lack of self-care.

“Seongie-hyung…” Yeosang breathed, feeling like a weight was lifted off his chest. He licked his lips when he realized where Seonghwa’s eyes were focused on. “Is this a second chance?”

Seonghwa’s hand stopped moving around in Yeosang’s hair and settled on a spot to rest, twirling the strands around his fingers. He leaned forward, bring Yeosang closer to him. “This,” Seonghwa said, “Is us coming back from a damn long hiatus.” He leaned the last inch forward, closing his eyes when Yeosang’s lips met his. They were dry, and Seonghwa was almost afraid they’d bruise if he kissed them too hard. But he stopped himself from going too intense with Yeosang after years of not even seeing each other. Their kiss was feather light, lips barely brushing.

Yeosang pulled away for a moment. “This isn’t comfy. Not the kiss, I… I liked that. But how I’m sitting, it hurts.”

Seonghwa nodded in understanding, and stood up from the coffee table, bringing Yeosang with him. He looked down at the boy and brought him into his arms, content with wrapping the boy in his embrace. Now that Yeosang was back in his life, Seonghwa had decided that he’d be making sure his health - mainly mental - increased in quality. Yeosang glanced up, locking gazes with Seonghwa and grinning. He lifted his hand to cover his smile, but Seonghwa pushed it down before he had the chance. “I like your smile, Sangie, don’t cover it. It’s a rare blessing to the world.”

Yeosang mumbled something incoherent and rested his head against Seonghwa’s chest. His heartbeat flooded Yeosang’s senses, making him let go of anything he’d been keeping bottled up inside. An uncontrollable noise, like a broken whimper, left his lips as tears spilled from his eyes, waterfalls crashing over the cliffs of his cheekbones. Seonghwa brought his hand up to Yeosang’s back, rubbing it as the younger boy cried against his chest. “Hyung, I’ll never stop being sorry. I missed you every day you weren’t with me. I don’t deserve you.”

“That’s not true.” Seonghwa’s hand lifted to Yeosang’s chin, and he gently titled the boy’s face up, pressing a soft kiss against his lips. “I want you, Sangie. For who you are, mistakes and all.”

Yeosang almost started to cry harder, gratefulness replacing the guilt, but instead he threw his arms around Seonghwa’s shoulders, using the leverage to hoist himself up to his tiptoes. His mouth crashed against Seonghwa’s, and it was messy and uncoordinated, but it was so much like their first kiss that neither could complain. Seonghwa could taste the salty tears that had collected near the corners of Yeosang’s mouth, and he completely disregarded his old resolution about being gentle. His arms shot out to grip Yeosang’s waist and he pulled the younger boy impossibly close, the front of their bodies pressed flush against one another. Seonghwa bit down on Yeosang’s bottom lip, first time by accident, but after seeing his reaction - stiffening for a moment and practically whining into the kiss - he couldn’t help but do it again.

When the two finally broke apart for air, they were able to get a good look at the other. Seonghwa, with his golden hair tousled and messy, his eyes dark with a sort of hunger that he’d been deprived of for two years. And Yeosang, with his eyelashes wet with tears, and his lips red and swollen, the bottom one specifically. Seonghwa could even see small specks of red where blood was rising just under the surface.

“I was serious, earlier, Yeosang-ah. This doesn’t mean we’re in our third year of a relationship again. We’re starting over from square one.” Seonghwa said, lacing his hand in one of Yeosang’s.

“Which is more than understandable, hyung. Maybe we can start with me taking you out for dinner? The place where we went on our first date?” There was a glimmer of hope shining in Yeosang’s eyes.

“That sounds good, Yeosangie. And one last thing?”

“Yeah?” Yeosang asked, already buzzing with excitement, trying to fish his phone out of his back pocket to call up the restaurant.

“Stay the night?” **  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnnnnd that's the end! I truly hope you liked this chapter! I tried to keep it as realistic as possible, because at least in my mind, there's no way two people could go on as if nothing ever happened after one breaks up with the other and they don't talk for two years. Feedback is always appreciated!! haha :D
> 
> I hope the comeback continues to treat everyone well! Our boys are certainly serving up some visuals! (And if you have theories, I'd love to compare!!) Good morning/night, atinys!!


	5. prompt five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " Letting his eyes rest on Seonghwa, Yeosang felt a grin break out across his face. The blonde boy was staring up at the sky, seemingly in his own world. The moonlight that reflected off his hair turned the golden strands platinum, and Yeosang swore he could see the stars in Seonghwa’s open eyes. To finally get to see his boyfriend sit back and relax, it was something that warmed Yeosang’s heart more than the hot springs ever could. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh I haven't updated this in forever - I've been studying non-stop for my midterms that are going on all this week - and I feel like such a sinner. Anyway, I wanted to quickly express how grateful I am. At the time of me writing this, I'm over 470 views, which is an insane feat to me. So thank you, so much, to everyone that's read my words, given me kudos, commented... It means the world to me :")
> 
> Anyway, with all sentiment aside, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter! It's canon compliant this time, with no angst (and the inspiration for the main plot/setting came from when I was watching the ATEEZ asmr to relax after studying and Mingi was mentioning how after debuting he wanted to go to a hot spring in Fukuoka with the boys). Please enjoy!

**5: Hands on the other person’s back, fingertips pressing under their top, drawing gentle circles against that small strip of bare skin, that make them break the kiss with a gasp**

* * *

 

It was freezing outside. A soft layer of snow was covering the ground, coating the grass in a blanket of frost and flurries. It sparkled in the silvery moonlight, emitting a soft glow that almost looked unreal. At least it was toasty warm inside the hotel all the boys were staying at. This extended weekend trip had been Mingi’s idea; the rapper hadn’t stopped talking about it since before the eight boys debuted, and now his fantasy was becoming a reality. Three days and two nights in Fukuoka, Japan, at the top-rated hot springs resort.

 

When the boys had found out the destination of their mini getaway, Mingi was practically bouncing off the walls with how excited he was. And he had been quite literally bouncing in his seat on the plane, a huge smile adorning his face as he gushed to Yunho about everything he wanted to do with the time they had in Japan. Upon their arrival, they had hurried towards the check-in desk, grabbing their room keys as fast as they could, with their suitcases trailing behind them. It had already been decided on that the boys would keep the roommates they already had back in their dorm, as it would just make everything easier.

 

Yeosang was gazing out his window, staring fondly at the snow, with Wooyoung at his side. The night sky was illuminated by the moon and what felt like hundreds of stars, shining brightly against the murky midnight hues of the sky. The sun had set an hour ago, all traces of its golden rays erased from the world. Their surroundings were bathed in silver, navy, and the chill of the winter air. Winter was a shared favorite season between Wooyoung and Yeosang. The other members either didn’t prefer or downright didn’t like the brisk cold or the biting wind, but Yeosang and Wooyoung couldn’t get enough of the icy weather that left them with red cheeks and their breath escaping out into the world in clouds of white.

 

From the window of their hotel room, they could see the silver light reflecting off the water of the onsen springs. It sparkled, the stars seeming to materialize on the calm surface. Yeosang let himself get lost in the scenery. Trees, their branches bare of all leaves, and instead covered by droplets of crystal snow. The sky was a dark blue at its darkest points, merging and blending into an inky black. And in its lightest points, it shone a cobalt blue in small streaks across the sky, like clouds of color. The stars twinkled, and it appeared as if they were diamonds hung up by heaven’s angels. 

 

“San texted me a little while ago,” The younger of the two stated, breaking the silence. “He said everyone was going down to the onsen in like twenty minutes. So if you want to go, I think we should leave now. We’ll probably have enough time to wash up and meet up with them. Do you wanna go?” He turned towards Yeosang with a small smile.

 

“Most definitely.” A smile of Yeosang’s own broke out on his face. “Since preparing for the comeback, my muscles have been so sore. Damn choreography, y’know?”

 

Wooyoung nodded, laughing. “I totally get what you mean, hyung. At least you aren’t killing your kneecaps every day like you were during the practices of Pirate King.”

 

“You are most definitely right about that.” Yeosang’s grin was almost blinding. He draped his arm across Wooyoung’s shoulders, saying, “Get your coat before we leave; the hyungs’ll kill me if I let you catch a cold.”

 

“Well, yeah, of course. It’s freaking freezing out, and I’ve heard rumours of an impromptu snowball fight happening, so I wanna be as protected as possible. So I’d suggest a coat for you.” Wooyoung’s eyes glinted with a deviant sparkle. “But don’t expect any alliances.”

 

“Wasn’t planning on it, Youngie.” Yeosang responded with just as much mischief in his voice. He walked over to the hotel room’s closet, grabbing his and Wooyoung’s coat. He wrapped his around his shoulders and tossed Wooyoung’s coat to him. The younger boy caught the article of clothing with grace, and quickly put it on. “Do you have your room key?” Yeosang asked when Wooyoung started towards the door. The shorter boy stopped in his tracks and fished around in his pockets for a moment.

 

“Nope. I think I left it… um… somewhere. But you have yours! Now come on,” Wooyoung groaned, dragging out ‘on’. “I don’t want to be late.”

 

The boys were talking about nothing in particular on their way down to the main lobby, things like who was going to get to shower first tomorrow morning, and who’s alarm they were going to use to wake up. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, everyone was there waiting for them. Yeosang beamed when he saw Seonghwa, almost tripping over his feet as he ran towards his boyfriend and wrapped him in a tight hug. His head rested perfectly in the crook of Seonghwa’s neck, and he sighed happily as the older boy whispered, “Hey, baby.” into his hair. The quiet noise Yeosang had made was drowned out by a chorus of “aww”s from the other boys.

 

If they weren’t in public, Yeosang would have been more affectionate. The hug, although close and prolonged, could just be perceived as an action of close friends, so that was alright for public view. In the privacy of just the two of them, or even in just in their dorm where any of the members could show up, Yeosang would lace his own fingers in Seonghwa’s and pull the taller boy down for a kiss. But they didn’t have that luxury, at least not right now.

 

All the boys started towards the side doors of the lobby, the ones that led to the bathhouse and the onsen spring. They had been outside in the biting cold for only a few seconds when a yelp sounded from San. He whipped his head around to see Jongho snickering with stray bits of snow in his open palm. A devilish grin spread across San’s face as he bent down and gathered some snow in his hands, shivering as his hands plunged into the icy snow. He stood up quickly, tossing the newly formed snowball back at Jongho, smiling proudly when the snow collided with the younger boy’s chest, the powdery residue visible against his coat.

 

Yeosang locked eyes with Wooyoung, a silent “Alliance?” “Alliance.” in their gazes. Both boys formed as many snowballs as they could, scampering to stand with their backs against each other’s. San and Jongho were distracted with each other, their coats starting to get wet from the melting snow that was being pelted against them. Seonghwa and Hongjoong had teamed up against Mingi, the youngest of the three running around in the snow to try and escape the two older boys. And all of this had left Yunho without a partner or adversary, so Yeosang and Wooyoung decided to turn their attention on the tall boy.

 

“You wouldn’t dare!” Yunho shouted when he caught Yeosang’s stare. Yeosang only laughed, throwing the snowball as hard as he could in Yunho’s direction, Wooyoung following a moment afterwards. But the boys had underestimated the dancer’s skill, and watched in slight amazement as he dodged both attacks with ease. The snowball Wooyoung had thrown crashed harmlessly against the ground, but Yeosang’s had continued to fly through the air, and eventually reached its end as it collided with Seonghwa’s jaw. The snowball burst apart on impact, coating the boy’s cheekbones in a fine powder.

 

“That was fricken cold!” Seonghwa cried out through laughter. “Who the-” He stopped talking after he made eye contact with Yeosang, the dark haired boy trying to stifle a loud cackle from escaping his lips. “Yeosangie, you are  _ so  _ paying for that later.” Even from a few meters away, in the dark of night, Yeosang could see Seonghwa’s eyes darken in a way that was only ever directed towards him.

 

Wooyoung had nudged Yeosang lightly in the arm, throwing him a smirk after seeing how he had subconsciously responded to the look Seonghwa had given him. He had opened his mouth to say something, but Jongho had thrown a snowball that hit Wooyoung in the back of the head. Instead of a most likely sarcastic and teasing comment directed towards Yeosang, the only thing that escaped Wooyoung’s mouth was a high-pitched shout.

 

“Okay, okay.” Hongjoong said. The ends of his hair were damp; there were clumps of snow along his shoulders and the back of his neck, rapidly melting into freezing water. “Now that we’re all more freezing than we were when we stepped out here, how about going to wash off so we can warm up in the hot spring?”

 

“I second that.” Mingi said. He was breathless, his nose, cheeks, and the tips of his ears all rosy from the chill of the breeze. “I could totally go for heat right now.”

 

After a few other boys chimed in with their agreements, and the eight of them began to walk towards the wash house - but only after Hongjoong had hit Jongho in the arm with a handful of snow as “punishment for starting the mini fight”. All the boys grimaced as they turned the little showers on; the water was lukewarm at its hottest temperature. Their clothes were practically bursting out of the small cubbies allotted for clothing, all large and heavy coats or oversized sweatshirts. They each took turns washing the snow off themselves, trying to get out of the water as soon as possible. It was cooling down quickly, and causing goosebumps to trail along the boys’ skin.

 

Sure, the eight boys lived together, so privacy and modesty were concepts that were largely out of the window. But in a way, none of the boys really cared. They were best friends, practically family, and besides, all this was was them following traditions of the Japanese onsen culture. It was almost something so small and practically negligible it didn’t need to be acknowledged.

 

The steam from the hot spring rose in curling tendrils, creating a mist that was about the same level as the boys’ heads. They were all dispersed mostly evenly along the sides of the spring, most with their eyes closed, heads leaned back against the spring’s edge. The environment was hazy and peaceful. For the first time in a long while, the eight boys got the chance to be in a quiet environment, somewhere uninterrupted. Yeosang exhaled heavily and sunk down lower in the water, the small ripples brushing against his chin and neck. The steam had started to dampen Yeosang’s hair, causing the dark strands to fall over the boy’s forehead. The heat of the water felt like it was soaking directly against Yeosang’s bones, drawing the boy into a moment of silent solitude. Anything stressful, be it rehearsing his lines or mastering choreography, disappeared. It was if Yeosang could feel his limbs simultaneously get heavier and lighter at the same time, all tension fading away from him.

 

He opened his eyes slowly, gazing fondly at all of his best friends. The lazy content smiles on their faces caused an intense burst of happiness to blossom in Yeosang’s chest. They deserved this break, this rest, even if it was only for a few days. They all worked so hard to ensure the success of their group. Hongjoong being the leader, for crying out loud, had a type of role in the group only he could understand. At least when he got stressed about producing he’d have Mingi by his side. As for Yunho and Wooyoung, they were always working on new choreography, originality practically bursting out of the seams of each move. San and Jongho, always building each other up, working on harmonies and different singing techniques. And of course, Seonghwa always took care of the group more than he did himself. Between honing his own skills and making sure the other members were eating and sleeping regularly, the oldest boy was often past exhausted after days and days of intense practices. He was the one that would carry any of the other boys back to their room if they fell asleep in the studio or practice room, and more often than not, Seonghwa wouldn’t have the energy to make it back to his room. He’d stumble towards the couch, grab a blanket if he could, and collapse on the piece of furniture to enter a few hours of a mostly dreamless sleep.

 

Letting his eyes rest on Seonghwa, Yeosang felt a grin break out across his face. The blonde boy was staring up at the sky, seemingly in his own world. The moonlight that reflected off his hair turned the golden strands platinum, and Yeosang swore he could see the stars in Seonghwa’s open eyes. To finally get to see his boyfriend sit back and relax, it was something that warmed Yeosang’s heart more than the hot springs ever could. Maybe Seonghwa had recognized Yeosang’s staring, because the older boy glanced down, making eye contact with him. The smile Seonghwa had given Yeosang reminded the younger boy of sunrise. In their soft smiles, they carried an entire silent conversation, which ended in a playful pout and whispered “Please?” from Seonghwa.

 

Yeosang rolled his eyes and stretched his neck, wincing slightly as it cracked, the noise breaking the silence of the muted environment. Thankfully, nobody seemed to be affected by it; the boys were either still leaning back with closed eyes or engaging in practically inaudible conversations. Slowly, he made his way towards Seonghwa, his movements sluggish from the effect of the heat of the water. Once he was next to the blonde boy, he didn’t wait before settling back into his position he had been in on the other side of the onsen. His eyes were closing, but he was able to catch the look - full of adoration - Seonghwa was giving him. Yeosang smiled, now opting to rest his head against Seonghwa’s shoulder as opposed to the edge of the hot spring. Although Yeosang’s eyes were now closed, he could still feel Seonghwa press a light kiss against his head. When they returned to Korea, Yeosang made a mental note to thank their managers for booking them a private spring.

 

Away from the eyes of the public, they could be like this. Yeosang’s hand moved around in the water for a moment, searching for Seonghwa’s hand. When he found it, he laced their fingers together and gave the older boy’s hand a tight squeeze. The simple gesture contained so many unspoken words. “I love you. I’m proud of you. I’m here for you.” Seonghwa returned the display of affection, his own unspoken promises being made. “I love you. You’re everything I could ever need and want.”

 

Yeosang lifted their connected hands to his mouth at a slow pace, his lips brushing against the back of Seonghwa’s hand. “I love you.” His voice was low in both volume and pitch, not wanting to ruin this moment for himself by being anything but quiet. Besides, Seonghwa was right next to him, so even the softest of whispers would be picked up by the blonde boy. He tilted his head to look up at Seonghwa, and he realized it wasn’t just stars he could see in the boy’s eyes, no, he could see the entire galaxy. The universe - _his_ universe \- was right in front of him.

 

“I love you, too.” As Seonghwa looked down at Yeosang, a wave of emotion flooded over him. Love. Adoration. Pride. The younger boy had always been an inspiration to him. In the recording studio, they’d make eye contact, and Seonghwa’s heart would swell up, confidence and bliss running through his bloodstream. The two of them had been together since before they debuted. Seonghwa could recall the memory as if it had happened the day before. Seonghwa had known from the first time he met Yeosang that he was going to fall in love with the boy. From his features - dark hair, a piercing stare, his birthmark - to his personality - soft spoken at first, but quick-witted and hilarious once he opened up - Seonghwa had been more than certain that the boy would own his heart. It had been when they were first shooting for From that their feelings had both come to the surface.

 

Yeosang was staring up at Seonghwa, and the older boy felt as if he had just fallen in love all over again. He lifted his free hand from the water and brushed damp strands of Yeosang’s hair off his forehead, trying to see his eyes with a more clear view. With the way Seonghwa’s heart was beating, he felt like he was back standing in his hotel room they’d been staying at when From was being filmed, telling Yeosang for the first time that he loved him, that he wanted to take him out on dates, and that he wanted to be his boyfriend. And clearly, that had ended well for the both of them. The boys were content with getting lost in each other’s eyes, revisiting memories and any other sliver of happiness that entered their minds.

 

“Guys. Guys? Hyungs!” Seonghwa and Yeosang both snapped out of their thoughts and turned to face the voice that had been calling for them - and apparently for a bit of time. “Hey, uh, it’s gotten a bit late so the rest of us are going to head back in so we can sleep, and we wanted to know if you guys were up for coming along with us. Especially because you two don’t sleep as much as the rest of us.”

 

Yeosang and Seonghwa gave each other a quick glance, speaking through their expressions alone. “Yeah, we’ll be there Mingi-yah, don’t worry.” Yeosang looked over at Wooyoung, who was trying to prod San awake - the boy had fallen asleep against Wooyoung’s shoulder - and laughed quietly. “Besides, I’m the only one that can let Wooyoungie back into our room.” At mention of his name, Wooyoung’s gaze rose to Yeosang. He giggled sheepishly and turned his attention back to San. The older of the two was finally starting to wake up.

 

The movements of the boys started slow, not wanting to leave the warmth and comfort that the hot spring brought them. They reluctantly waded through the water to the exit, stalling as long as they could so they could keep the water’s heat around them. But after they psyched themselves up enough to step into the cold, their pace increased rapidly. A few muffled curses escaped the older members’ lips as they raced back towards the washroom, desperate for their sweatshirts, and in turn, relief from the brisk weather. 

 

Yeosang had swapped thoroughly drying off for getting his warm clothes back on as quickly as possible, but regretted his decision almost instantly. His sweatshirt and jeans were sticking to the parts of his skin that were still damp. More than a bit uncomfortable, he groaned to nobody in particular. Jongho heard and threw a spare towel at the older boy. “Here, hyung,” The maknae’s voice was both fond and teasing. “You look like you jumped into a pool with your clothes, at least dry your hair.”

 

“Thank you, Jongho-yah,” Yeosang smiled gratefully, bringing the towel up to his head to try and rub the wet strands of his hair dry. “And I’ll probably just change into pajamas when I get back to the rooms.” Yeosang, after he dried his hair as best he could, pulled on his jacket and decided to walk back with Mingi. Both had been the first ones ready, and both were freezing, desperate to return to the heat of the hotel rooms. They bounded across the snowy path, both almost tripping on a patch of ice, and yanked the lobby door open as if they were trying to escape the apocalypse. Sure, Yeosang loved the cold, but he now realized that only held true when he wasn’t fresh out of a body of water - and especially one with a stark difference in temperature than the outside weather. 

 

Now - thankfully - inside the hotel, Mingi turned to face Yeosang, looking down at him. “Alright, I’m exhausted. I’m probably heading up, and you should, too. You never sleep enough, hyung.” Before walking away to the staircase, he softly gasped in a moment of realization. “I almost forgot! There’s these really good cups of coffee the cafe has, and I was thinking I could buy one for all of us. Just a little ‘thank you’ for everyone, you know? Would you help me carry them tomorrow?”

 

“Of course.” Yeosang grinned at the younger boy. “You’re too good to us, I swear. At least let me pay for half, now that you told me about the idea?”   


“Nope.” The one word was light-hearted but firm. “No way in hell am I letting you pay.” To fully finalize his statement, he wrapped Yeosang up in a tight hug. “But thanks for offering! Have a great night, hyung!”

 

“Same to you, Mingi-yah!” Yeosang called after the boy who had already started to scurry towards the stairs. Before following suit, he peered out through the glass door towards the washroom. Nobody had made their way back, although Yeosang could make out Yunho and Hongjoong standing by the door. Did it really take them that long to dry off and get dressed again? Yeosang softly laughed to himself. His groupmates were all certainly an experience to be around, but Yeosang wouldn’t trade it - all of it, the laughter and the insanity - for anything. He had been debating of waiting for the other six boys to walk back, but after another minute passed and there was no movement, he decided on walking back to his hotel room. He’d see Wooyoung later, and the rest of them tomorrow.

 

As he made his way towards the staircase, he pulled his phone out of his coat pocket. Thankfully, it was dry. Quickly entering his password - his and Seonghwa’s anniversary - he pulled up his text messages, pressing Seonghwa’s contact. The message he sent was short and sweet; it read ‘have a great night, seongie-hyung! i love you!’. Once he had made his way up the three flights of stairs and entered his room, he pulled his suitcase out from under his bed. His hair had dried a fair amount from his few seconds outside in the winter air and stuck up at some odd angles, but his clothes were still far from dry. Yeosang unzipped the suitcase, pulling out an old tee-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. He was almost finished with getting changed when he heard a knock on the door. Right, Wooyoung had misplaced his room key.

 

“I’ll be right there!” He called out, pulling the soft shirt down over his head and arms. He made his way to the door, and opened it with a smile. “Hey, Wooyou- Oh.” Yeosang was expecting to see his typical roommate with his bright grin and smaller stature, but he was greeted with the sight of Seonghwa, complete with a sly smirk.

 

“Really, Yeosangie? ‘Oh’?” He teased playfully. “That’s how you say hello?”

 

“I was expecting a half asleep Wooyoung, not my boyfriend! And who’s to say you wouldn’t have the same reaction if I walked into your room instead of Hongjoong?”

 

“Touché, Sangie.” The blonde giggled, glancing down to Yeosang’s eyes, and then to his lips. “Regardless, can I come in?”

 

Yeosang had registered that the same dark spark that was in Seonghwa’s eyes after he had gotten hit with the snowball had returned. Just looking up at Seonghwa, seeing that signature sparkle in his eyes for him and him alone, Yeosang felt his heartbeat quicken, his blood seemingly getting hotter. His throat, his lips, everything suddenly felt dry. He licked his lips and grabbed Seonghwa by the front of his shirt, pulling him inside the hotel room and slamming the door shut behind him. The air was hot between the two of them, Yeosang’s hands gripping Seonghwa’s sweatshirt and Seonghwa’s hands just centimeters away from Yeosang’s hips. “How-” Yeosang’s question got caught in his throat, the distraction of having Seonghwa stare down at him with his eyes dark making his words cease to work. “What happens if Wooyoung comes back? I gotta let him in when he does.”

 

“He won’t. I saw him walk in to San’s room, he won’t be back here tonight.”

 

Those words were all Yeosang needed. He pulled Seonghwa down towards him, crashing their lips together in a searing kiss. Yeosang’s hands tightened on the fabric of Seonghwa’s sweatshirt, trying to keep him down and against him. With their chests pressed together, Yeosang believed quite well that Seonghwa was able to feel his heart pounding, even through the layers of clothing. After what felt like hours - but could have been minutes or even seconds - Yeosang reluctantly pulled away for air. He looked up at Seonghwa with an expression that was almost quizzical. The older boy hadn’t lay a hand on Yeosang since he arrived in the doorway. “Why aren’t you…” Yeosang trailed off, his brow creased in confusion.

 

Seonghwa gave him the look he always did when he was about to run a hand through the younger boy’s hair and whisper a hushed declaration of love. “I told you I was getting you back for the snowball, right?”

 

A spike of heat spread throughout Yeosang, reaching all his extremities. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He sounded impatient, because, well, he was. Seonghwa didn’t answer, he just continued to stare at Yeosang with that look of adoration. “Hello?”

 

Seonghwa broke away from Yeosang’s grip and sat down on the foot of the boy’s bed - he knew it belonged to Yeosang just from the blanket, his blanket that he brought everywhere, that was crumpled up against the wall. “C’mere.” He was leaning back a bit on one hand, using his other to brush his hair off his forehead. Yeosang couldn’t help but let the grin show on his face as he walked over towards Seonghwa, situating himself in the older boy’s lap. He locked his legs around his waist, cheeks tinged with a faint rosy hue.

 

“Hey.” He said softly, looking down at the taller boy.

 

“Hi, love.” Seonghwa’s soft words and tone contrasted the hunger in his eyes. He leaned up for a moment, anticipation bubbling in Yeosang’s chest, but regressed to his previous position the moment after. “Remember, Sangie, if you don’t like anything, tell me.”

 

“Obviously, hyung.” A fresh wave of love rolled through Yeosang’s body. It was pure appreciation for how caring Seonghwa was for him, how the boy always prioritized his comfort. “It’s always like that, and it’s the same no matter who’s doing what.”

 

“Okay, good.” Seonghwa leaned up again, but instead of connecting his lips with Yeosang’s, he pressed soft kisses against his neck, covering the slender column of his throat with feather-light kisses. Yeosang’s legs tightened around Seonghwa’s waist, trying to draw him in even closer. Both boys wished that promotions weren’t a thing for a few days, between performing, posting selcas, or going live. If that were true, Yeosang would let Seonghwa take complete control of his neck, marking the golden skin in red and violet love bites. But both boys knew better than to even risk it, so Seonghwa pulled away from Yeosang’s neck, thought that was only after he placed a final kiss against his collarbone. He peered up at Yeosang, gazing at the younger boy through his long, dark eyelashes.

 

“Kiss me.” Yeosang couldn’t tell if his tone caused the two words to come out as a command or a plea, but Seonghwa complied regardless. His lips captured Yeosang’s, eyes fluttering shut. They fit together perfectly, like pieces of a puzzle. Seonghwa convinced himself to open his eyes, and he grinned into the kiss when he saw that Yeosang had his eyes closed. Lightly, he placed his hands against Yeosang’s lower back, and he could have sworn he heard the boy mumble “Finally.” into the kiss. He raised his hands the slightest bit, fingertips brushing the hem of Yeosang’s light shirt. He could feel Yeosang leaning into the light touches, and used this as a perfect segue into what he wanted to give the dark haired boy - payback.

 

He snaked his hands under the material of Yeosang’s shirt, lightly dragging his fingers across the small bit of exposed skin. He traced circles against Yeosang’s back, and he wrote messages like ‘I love you’ and ‘you’re beautiful’. Upon the first contact Seonghwa’s hands made with Yeosang’s skin, the younger of the two had an immediate reaction. Between the sounds of soft kisses and heavy breaths, a small gasp surfaced, and Yeosang pulled back for a moment, glancing down at his boyfriend with a look of bewilderment and playful hurt. “Your hands are so cold, hyung, what the-” He cut his own sentence off with another small noise, Seonghwa’s hands traveling farther up his back only to rest near his shoulderblades, freezing fingers leaching the heat out of Yeosang’s body.

 

“I’m getting you back. Just like I said, love.” Seonghwa’s smirk was laced with danger. Slowly, he let his hands work their way back down Yeosang’s back, fingernails lightly scratching the skin.

 

Yeosang rolled his eyes and tried to not focus on how Seonghwa’s hands - icy cold and resting against the waistband of his sweatpants - were so obviously affecting him, and he leaned back down, once again connecting his lips with Seonghwa’s. The older boy’s hands were cold -  _ freezing  _ \- but his mouth was providing all the heat Yeosang wanted. Yeosang tried to take control of the kiss - after all, it was him who was sitting on Seonghwa, him who had locked the blonde boy in place with his legs - and thought he was actually getting somewhere, his hands now draped around Seonghwa’s neck, pulling him impossibly close.

 

But the older vocalist had more than a few tricks up his sleeve. He trailed his hands, still under Yeosang’s shirt, around from his back to his stomach, following the line of his waistband. Seonghwa could feel the toned muscles of Yeosang’s stomach jump under his fingers, stimulated by the temperature change. Yeosang broke their kiss with a gasp and small whine, his hips stuttering against Seonghwa’s. “Stop,” He drew out the word, although it had no real weight to it, a pout forming on his red lips. “You’re freezing.”

 

“Do you really want me to stop?” Seonghwa had stilled his movements and pulled his hands away, gazing expectantly at Yeosang.

 

The dark haired boy could feel his face flush, and was thankful for the dim light of the hotel room. But knowing Seonghwa, the boy was most likely able to see the red hue that tinted Yeosang’s cheeks. He didn’t answer verbally at first, opting instead to take Seonghwa’s hands in his own, pressing the boy’s palms flat against his back, the skin on skin contact making him shiver. “Don’t stop. Please.” Before Seonghwa could respond, Yeosang continued talking. “Yes, hyung, I’m sure. You’re just really fricken cold.”

 

“Not as cold as the snowball.” Seonghwa mused, his tone teasing. “Definitely not as cold.”

 

“You’re insufferable.” Yeosang stated. From his position, Yeosang had the upper-hand in moving both of them around if he wanted to. And he most definitely wanted to. He twisted around so his back hit the mattress, head bouncing against the pillow with his dark hair contrasting against the white pillowcase. With his legs still hooked around Seonghwa’s waist, he pulled the boy on top of him. After hearing a whispered “Hot.” from Seonghwa, Yeosang felt quite pleased with this feat of his. Seonghwa grinned, bending down to kiss Yeosang. Lightly, at first, but after he felt the other boy’s tongue swipe across his bottom lip, he pressed harder. Before allowing Yeosang access to his mouth, he bit the boy’s lower lip, reveling in the small groan he got from the younger. But then, he parted his lips, allowing Yeosang to re-explore all the places he had long since memorized.

 

“If a snowball fight gets me this,” Yeosang whispered, pausing to fully take in the sensation of Seonghwa’s hands directly against his back. “I’m stocking up on snowballs for years to come.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnnnnnnd that's the end! I hope everyone reading enjoyed this! A new chapter should come sooner than this one did, and I already have my plans for it (note: the first part is gonna be weird, but for a reason that'll be explained later) Feedback is always appreciated haha
> 
> Have a great morning/night, atiny, and always remember to smile! <3


	6. prompt six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "In a world of idol life, moments like these were their privacy. Their solace. Their relief from hectic days of practice after practice, photoshoot after photoshoot, promotion after promotion."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello atiny!! This chapter is going to be kinda weird, for a few reasons. First off, it's a bit shorter than my most recent chapters, just based off of the fact that this prompt was a bit difficult to make something long and substantial out of. And secondly, there's a dream sequence in here that I felt like including as almost a little preview to a story I'm writing - just note, the story is DARK. So if you only want the fluff, just skip ahead to where the italics stop. And if you feel like reading the dream sequence, well, I hope you enjoy your first sneak-peek at my first full length ateez fanfic (and my true, dark writing style hehe)! I hope you enjoy!!
> 
> additional notes:  
> \- this chapter is like the only one that correlates to another; it takes place the morning after prompt/chapter 2  
> \- the dream sequence is in N O W A Y connected to any prompts/chapters/events in this book :") we're keeping 20cossk a darkfic free place

****6: Lazy morning kisses before they’ve even opened their eyes, still mumbling half-incoherently, not wanting to wake up** **

* * *

 

_ Darkness. Everything was shrouded in darkness. There was a sickening stench - blood? - permeating the air, making Seonghwa’s stomach turn. His dry throat and scratchy voice made it nearly impossible to call out for anything in the shadows, not for help, not for answers. Slowly, he inhaled through his nose. Yes, the ugly scent was blood. Seonghwa could practically taste the metallic substance on his tongue, filling all of his senses with the viscous substance. _

 

_ His hands were bound, wrists red and rubbed raw from the cuffs that chained him to the chair - a folding chair, made of cold metal, with uneven legs. The blindfold tied around his eyes was damp, either from his sweat or his tears, and was musty with age. Seonghwa wanted to run his tongue over his lips, a habit of his. It would be something to ground him, something to keep him from dissociating, something to keep him sane in the total darkness and silence. But his tongue was dry - how long had it been since he last had water? - and his lips, usually full and plush, were chapped and bitten, dried blood framing the edges of his mouth. _

 

_ Where the hell was he? And why was  _ he _ here, of all people? Out of all the disappearances, Seonghwa had nothing in common with them. And, well, he couldn't even be sure that wherever he ended up was where all the other kids had been taken. He’d heard the rumors about the missing kids, that they’d just leave school one day, seemingly normal, and never come back. The disappearances had only been starting recently, maybe a month ago. Seven kids had already been taken. Seonghwa hadn’t believed the ominous warning of the newspapers saying that “the Void will claim just one more soul”, he hadn’t been careful like the rest of his friends. _

 

_ And now? Hell, he was somewhere. Most likely some old and dingy cellar. The metallic air might not have just been from blood, it could have been from rust. Seonghwa could feel his heart start to pound in his chest again. Where. The. Hell. Was. He? And what. The. Hell. Was. Happening? A barrage of questions flew around in his head, making the raven-haired boy succumb to yet another splitting migraine. His futile attempts to break out of the restraints he’d been forced into had grown weaker as time went on. Seonghwa had no idea how long he’d been here, how long he’d gone without food or water. Maybe this was all a prolonged nightmare. Maybe he’d wake up back in his bedroom and text Minho about the crazy fever dream he’d had. _

 

_ Was he conscious now? In the abyss of complete darkness and silence, Seonghwa wasn’t able to even tell if he were awake. Sane. Were his eyes open or closed? If he had any tears left in his body, Seonghwa was sure he’d be sobbing. From frustration, anger, hunger, confusion… For once in his life, he was lost. This couldn’t be the end for him, not by a longshot. Everyone’s destiny was predetermined for them, and Seonghwa’s destiny was a pretty decent one. He wasn’t dying from this. He couldn’t. But who was to say that whoever had taken him wouldn’t put him through hell for all the years he had left. _

 

_ He’d followed that damn girl. A poor choice of judgement as it was, especially with being aided by the fact that maybe - just maybe - Seonghwa wasn’t completely sober. He’d been hanging out with Minho at a party the boy had dragged him to, and there may or may not have been a few drinks served. It might have been the alcohol blurring Seonghwa’s vision, but the girl he’d seen was probably the most beautiful person he’d ever laid eyes on. Sleek black hair that went to her back, eyes so dark they appeared to be crystals of obsidian set in her pale face. She’d been wearing a jacket, so Seonghwa didn’t get the chance to see how she was marked. The color and number was hidden under layers of fabric. _

 

_ But he didn’t care. All Seonghwa had wanted was to follow the girl, chat her up for a bit. So it was what he did, cheered on by a slightly intoxicated Minho. Everything had been hazy. Maybe if he didn’t take up the offer on the never-ending stream of shots, he would have been more aware of everything. He would have been home. Safe. Anywhere but here. That night was supposed to end well. The girl - whose name Seonghwa had never even caught - was into him, at least that was what she said when she let the dark haired boy kiss her under the stars. In fact, Seonghwa could still taste her lips on his own. The cherry lip balm she was wearing now stuck to Seonghwa as a reminder that this was real. All of it. Everything from her hands in his hair to her hands around his throat. That damn girl had been stronger than she first appeared, and combined with Seonghwa’s state of inebriation, she had been able to wrench the boy to the ground, standing proudly with her foot planted on his chest, pinning him to the ground. _

 

_ A flare of pain blossomed in Seonghwa’s chest now as he recalled the memory. One moment he had felt on top of the world - a good-looking and intelligent student with an optimal color and number, possibly about to have a girlfriend - and the next he was at his lowest moment. Flipped face-first against the ground with his arms being wrestled behind him into cuffs made out of what he could only assume was a thick rope. He had fought as hard as he could to break away from whoever had a hold on him. It was two different people, he knew as much from the four separate hands on his wrists and arms. And it wasn’t the girl, no, Seonghwa could see her boot-clad feet on the ground in front of his face. _

 

_ Moving his arms was a strategy out of the question, and the rest of him was becoming more and more immobilized as the seconds dragged on. Some sort of cloth, one with an artificial and chemical smell, almost like a Sharpie marker, had been held over the lower half of Seonghwa’s face, making sure that the only thing the teenager was inhaling was the hallucinogenic chemical. Seonghwa didn’t know when he had passed out, he only knew that when he woke up, he was exactly where he was now. With a blindfold covering his eyes, damp and drying from his wasted tears. A pair of cold metal handcuffs cutting into his wrists, most likely scratching deep into the skin and letting blood coat the metal just like rust would. A chain binding his legs to the unstable metal chair, the only thing separating his bare skin from the restraints being the pair of jeans he had worn to that godforsaken party. _

 

_ Seonghwa almost didn’t realize the voice that sounded out in the room, echoing in the emptiness. It was raspy and low-pitched, cracking at what felt like a rate of every other syllable. It was foreign, but it was his own. His throat was killing him, after who knows how long of not speaking, he was screaming like a banshee. He broke the endless deafening silence he was put through on his own, yelling out in frustration. “Whoever the hell brought me here, I swear to God I’ll kill every last one of you! You don’t know who you’re trying to mess with!” His threats were empty, and his throat felt like it was burning, his lungs felt fragile and on the verge of collapse. Swallowing a coughing fit before it happened, he continued his shouting, the pain it brought only empowering him more. “I bet you’ve got no idea who I am! Nothing like the other kids you took! They-” It was going to hurt Seonghwa to say this. He had friends that weren’t marked with the same color he was, that had numbers as low as zero. “They’re the disposable ones! Ready to succumb to illness or be idiotic enough to get themselves killed! But that’s not me, okay? I’ve got years upon years left, and there’s nothing you can do to cha-” _

 

_ Seonghwa’s tirade was cut short as a fist - complete with a set of heavy rings - collided with jaw. His head whipped to the side, the crack of his neck now being the sound that echoed in the cold room. He had almost fallen over from the force of which he’d been struck with; the chair squeaked across the floor, resulting in a noise akin to nails scraping slowly across a chalkboard. Seonghwa groaned in pain, he would rub at his sore neck if he could. Whoever came in, whoever hit him, they must have entered during Seonghwa’s ranting. And the dark haired boy, in the midst of his rage, must not have heard. But now, oh, he heard everything. The slow steps the person took around Seonghwa, circling him like a vulture would circle a carcass it was looking to scavenge on. _

 

_ “You’ll kill us?” The voice taunted. Seonghwa’s blood was boiling. He felt so far below this person, both figuratively and literally. What did the voice mean by ‘us’? Sure, there had been more than one person that carried out Seonghwa’s abduction, but the person - Void - that had been rumored to be the leader of all the kidnappings was one person. Right? Seonghwa’s chest was heaving, and he kept repeating  _ “Don’t cry, idiot. Do not cry.” _ in his head like a mantra that would keep him alive. “You ain’t nothin’ special, kid.” The voice’s tone was beyond condescending, speaking to Seonghwa as if he were a toddler being reprimanded. “The only reason Boss wanted us takin’ you is so he’d have a pretty little plaything. After all, you are a pretty boy, aren’t you?” _

 

_ “Get the hell away from me, you sick, twisted fu-” Yet again, Seonghwa was cut off by a punch to the face. At least this time it was on the opposite side; the pain could balance out. He could feel the stranger’s hot breath against the back of his neck, and it made him want to throw up. Of course, he hadn’t eaten anything in what felt like days, so he’d most likely be dry-heaving. But still, everything about the stranger’s speech sent an unpleasant shiver down Seonghwa’s back. _

 

_ “You really shouldn’t talk to me like that, pretty boy,” The body that the voice belonged to once again connected with Seonghwa, but this time in a much gentler way. And somehow, Seonghwa hated this more. The stranger’s hand was running through Seonghwa’s hair, muttering to himself words like “pretty” and “so much fun”. Seonghwa bit back a scowl, trying to seem complacent, at least for the time being. He couldn’t show his complete and utter disgust, at least not yet. “It’s been almost three days, you must be so thirsty, yeah?” Seonghwa caught the growl that was forming at the back of his throat before it could come out. If not for the color of his mark, he’d be dead in the next hours. Seonghwa sucked in a quick breath, the action’s speed making it almost painful. A lightbulb went off in the back of Seonghwa’s mind, flooding the extended darkness with a light only he could see. To be honest, Seonghwa didn’t know if he was letting his intelligence or his impulsivity take the reins. Regardless, this might have been the impetus that would let him get out of this mess. _

 

_ Three… Two… One… Seonghwa threw his body to the side, feeling the chair teeter dangerously on its most unstable edge. Leaning over further, he stopped a cry from escaping his lips as he crashed against the ground - it was cold, made of hard wooden planks. The force of his head smacking against the ground made him dizzy, but his main goal was complete. The scrappy blindfold had fallen from his eyes, now hanging loosely at his throat. His eyes were inundated with a bright fluorescent light that hung overhead, almost like one that could be found in a police station’s interrogation room. He was grimacing, head swimming. Still, he convinced himself to stay awake, stay conscious. He’d come so far, he couldn’t lose this battle now. Seonghwa was sprawled out across the floor, the side of his face pressed into the hardwood floorboards. From the corners of his sore eyes, he could see the stranger approach him, boots thumping loudly against the floor. _

 

_ “You’re really somethin’ aren’t you, kid?” The stranger - a middle-aged man, black hair turning gray - laughed, a short sound, clipped and cold. Bending down, he gripped Seonghwa’s shin with a clammy hand, forcing the boy to look up at him. “Really wanna be special? Think you’re gettin’ there from tryin’ to escape?” Seonghwa didn’t move a muscle, hellbent on not showing any emotion. Not to this creep of a man. “Silent now, huh? Well, that don’t matter now. You’re gonna come with me, after an outburst like that.” From his back pocket the man drew a knife, a small dagger like one could use for camping. Seonghwa tensed, eyes widening. But still, he remained silent. He couldn’t die. The man would not kill him. His mark was keeping him alive. _

 

_ Seonghwa clenched his jaw as the man stepped out of his view. He could feel the blade of the knife against his ankles, pressing against the ropes. Was this supposed to be some sort of punishment for his cries of anger? Seonghwa steeled himself, bracing for the worst. The man brought the knife down quickly, cutting through- _

 

_ The rope? _

 

_ Seonghwa could barely hold back his noise of surprise. He tried not to think about how pathetic he must have looked, lying on the ground and weakly stretching out his legs after days of being sedentary. Before he even had a chance to plan some daring way of escape, the man was gripping Seonghwa by the back of his shirt, lifting him - and the chair - from the ground. Seonghwa’s arms, that had been handcuffed behind the back of the chair, were being stretched at a level that was almost unbearable as the man attempted to lift them off the back of the chair. After the man finally accomplished the task he’d been working at for a few solid minutes - with much cracking and snapping from the bones in Seonghwa’s wrists - he shoved the boy off the chair, snickering to himself as he crashed against the ground. _

 

_ “Don’t make this harder for yourself, pretty boy,” He muttered, wrenching Seonghwa up from the ground. “You’re already gonna get it bad enough.” _

 

_ Seonghwa wanted to scream again. Was this sick bastard really threatening him? His arms were still immobile, now resting - cuffed - against his back, but the lower half of his body was free from all restraints. Seonghwa kicked back, his foot colliding with what felt like a kneecap. He grinned to himself as the man cursed, releasing his grip on the back of his shirt. Seonghwa looked feral as he spun around to face the man, eyes wild, with hair matted to his forehead from sweat that was days old by now. His whole body ached, and he felt ready to pass out at any moment. Thirst, hunger, exhaustion… All of it piled up and overwhelmed Seonghwa, overpowering the minimal energy he had left. _

 

_ The world was moving so quickly around Seonghwa, sights and sounds all blending into a frenzy that left Seonghwa staggering, a pounding headache at the front of his mind. The man raised his hand, and Seonghwa squared his shoulders as best he could, ready to put up a fight if he needed to with any energy he could muster. But unexpectedly, the man snapped his fingers. A signal? But to who? Seonghwa didn’t have the time to question anything; the doors burst open, even more artificial light entering the room. Three people, all in masks that covered the lower half of their faces charged into the room, equipped with nothing but their bare hands. They surrounded Seonghwa in a flash, or at least that was how his groggy mind interpreted it. It looked as if the gang of three had some sort of leader, as they stepped towards Seonghwa, an unexplainable look in their - his? - eyes. It looked like anger, exasperation, and… Hurt? _

 

_ That face just looked so damn familiar… But from where? When? How? Seonghwa, with his blurry vision, was doing his best to figure out why these eyes that were boring into his very soul looked like they belonged to someone he knew. For a kid he knew to be involved with some kidnapping gang? It was near impossible. Seonghwa’s legs started trembling, on the verge of buckling and letting the boy fall to the floor. The room was spinning, Seonghwa’s eyes were rolling back in his head, but he could hear the voice of the young masked man in front of him as if there was no barrier. That voice- No, no, it couldn’t be. _

 

_ “Seongie-hyung? Hey, c’mon, I’m here.” _

 

_ “Hyung?” _

 

“Seonghwa-hyung.”

 

Seonghwa opened his eyes groggily, memories of a dark room and handcuffs plaguing his mind. His heart was racing, but after his mind finally told him ‘calm down, you’re with Yeosang’, any traces of his dream he had were gone. They had completely disappeared. Vanished. He groaned out a response, but it was incoherent and trailed off halfway through, a mix between an apology and a good morning. “Did I wake you up?” It took Seonghwa about three tries to get the question out, and he wouldn’t have been surprised if he had fallen asleep in the process.

 

“Hm…” Yeosang sighed, not having lifted his head from Seonghwa’s chest where he had first fallen asleep the night before. “No, s’just I heard you crying out. S’it a nightmare?” He was whispering, voice rough and raspy from having just woken up. He slowly lifted his head from Seonghwa’s chest and lay back down on the pillow, facing the older boy with half-closed eyes. Smiling to himself, he leaned in closer. Their legs were entangled already, and the blanket they had slept with was somehow worked into that knot. One of Seonghwa’s arms was trapped under Yeosang’s body, and had fallen asleep after the hours it had been in that position.

 

“Dunno…” Seonghwa’s voice was muffled by the parts of the pillow he was laying on. He had let his eyes flutter shut again, sometime between when he had first woken up and when Yeosang had finished talking. “Wh’time’s’it?” He could feel Yeosang shift closer, could sense the boy’s presence as supposed to seeing it. One of his arms was pinned under Yeosang’s side, yes, but his other arm was resting on the boy’s hip. His still sleepy limbs found it difficult to move, but nonetheless he forced his arm to tighten around Yeosang’s slim waist, pulling him closer.

 

“Early, hyungie. Moon’s out. S’dark.” As Yeosang felt Seonghwa’s arm pull him further into the boy’s embrace, he sighed - a small noise of happiness - and shifted closer to Seonghwa once again until their foreheads were pressed against each other’s. “Love you,” Yeosang mumbled, soft grin still gracing his features. His speech was slurred from exhaustion, but he still managed to get his message across. “So much…”

 

Seonghwa’s smile lit up the room like a beam of light, although neither boy could see is with their closed eyes. He closed the distance between him and Yeosang, connecting them from head to toe. Every part of the younger boy had been memorized by Seonghwa months ago; he didn’t need vision to know what to do.

 

Sure, their kisses were laced with sleepiness, but that didn’t mean they were half-hearted. Every peck of the lips, every caress of the cheek, every time a hand brushed through hair, mumbled words of affection were swapped, from “I love you” to “your hair’s soft”. In their eyes, everything was perfect. Everything was just for the two of them. It was slow, soft, and just what they needed. No schedules to worry about, no dance practices, no vocal warm-ups, no fears of the other members walking in.

 

In a world of idol life, moments like these were their privacy. Their solace. Their relief from hectic days of practice after practice, photoshoot after photoshoot, promotion after promotion. Both boys knew - they thought so, at least - they were awake, but the silence they were surrounded by - broken occasionally by muted noises of soft pleasure or whispered promises of love - mixed with their sense being filled with the other made it feel like a dream. Blissful, euphoric, exultant.

 

Maybe the sun had started to come up, maybe the silver moon that had bled through the windows and bathed Yeosang and Seonghwa in its ethereal glow was being replaced by the golden rays that would permeate the air and bring about the day. And not only the day, everything that went along with it. Stress and frustration and work. But even if the sun rained down golden droplets of reality on them, they wouldn’t budge.

 

Kissing languidly, wrapped in blankets and fading starlight, just conscious enough to know the other boy was there, to know they were safe and loved, to know that the world and all of its troubles couldn’t affect them here. Not here, not now. And as the magnetic pull of sleep washed over them like the tide moving shells and sea glass, they were pulled back into a dreamless sleep, covered by the other’s embrace. As they drifted off, sunlight streaming in through the slightly ajar window, they were left with two lingering, slurred messages. One for each of them.

 

“Sleep well, Seongie-hyung.”

 

“Sweet dreams, love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was that weird? I feel like that was weird gfyuhdjngckid,, I'm also feeling like the actual fluff part was too short but that might just be me being overly critical ahhhhhhhh >~< I hope this is a satisfactory chapter hihfnjidinjgfkdm
> 
> Anywayyyyy, besides (what i feel was) any weirdness, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! The book that the dream sequence was from will probably have its first chapter up pretty soon. Feedback is always appreciated hehe :""")
> 
> Have a wonderful day/night atiny!! Also, is anybody here going to any of the U.S. concerts? If I can get tickets before they sell out, I'll be going to the Warsaw one ^_^


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